What the Heck is Anxiety?

Why do you get panic attacks? What’s causing your anxiety? It’s all in your head, try to control it! Trick your brain out of it. Everything will be OK.

I’ve said those things in the past because I hadn’t experienced anxiety YET.  I could empathize but not understand why that would happen to family and friends. I’ve felt anxious before, the kind of anxious you feel before an exam, before a date, before getting on a stage, before boarding a plane or just thinking about going into labor. But it’s never been like THIS. I didn’t think smiling could hurt! Seven years of marriage, 2 toddlers and everything else that comes with being a grown up and it decides to hit me NOW? Isn’t this the time I should feel settled and more certain of myself and my life?!

Anxiety hit me like this: I feel myself gasping for air, body pains, unable to manage a simple task, easily irritated (not fun with toddlers – especially random tantrums), and I find my brain overthinking and doubting EVERYTHING.

I’ve managed tremendous amounts of stress well in my life, but this year, it’s been hard.

And it’s not always easy to figure out why then and there the attack occurs. You might be able to relate. I can however pinpoint a few triggers that take me down the spiraling tunnel of anxiety…

1. Self-doubt – doubting decisions, doubting my parenting, doubting the way I do life!
2. Feeling like I have to do and/or accomplish everything by myself.

I’ve changed so much these past 4 years. Maybe I’m trying to adapt to a new stage of life. Maybe there is too much going on at one time. I’m a wife, mom, friend, daughter and equally as important I’m ME!

On a positive note, these are a few things I’ve found that help to get me back in control.

1. READING: I went on Kindle and made a list of books that would help me through anxiety. Inspirational, motivational feel-good books.
2. WRITING: It got to the point where I became very frustrated with all my emotions. I couldn’t verbally explain what was happening to anyone, but I could write them down. Very therapeutic.
3. RELAXING: Let the TANTRUM happen – being a mom while having anxiety is difficult! Tantrums have spiked my anxious feeling to an all-time high. Now, I let the tantrum happen. When it does, I tell myself it’s OK, she’ll eventually stop. AND walk away!
4. BROWSING OLD PHOTOS: Looking at old photos on my phone of my kids or my husband help me to take my mind off anxiety and instead stroll down memory lane.

It’s OK that some people don’t understand you, it’s OK if you fall apart, it’s OK to not have it all together. More than likely the mom that seems to have it all together, DOESN’T.

Every challenge we face, especially as mothers and wives, is a new way to learn, grow and most importantly help another mother out.    

What helps you get back in control?