We didn’t start out as a co-sleeping family-in fact my oldest daughter contently slept in her own bed until she was 18 months old. As much as I swore that we would never bed-share (ha!), it became the right move for our family based on the circumstances that were occurring at the time.
When our second daughter came along, a baby that never slept, co-sleeping was the only choice for me to be able to function on any level. At one year, I finally night weaned her, but it required me to physically move me and my oldest daughter to a separate room. Each night, I would kiss my baby and husband goodnight and carry my older daughter to her room where we slept peacefully through the night.
I wanted so badly to be back in my own bed, but after not sleeping for a year, I couldn’t face mixing things up again and risk sleepless nights again. Recently my nights started to be interrupted once more by my oldest daughter who loves to kick me in the face while sleeping (literally-she said she likes to sleep with her feet on my face). Needless to say, that wasn’t working for me.
I finally told my oldest that I was done and I was going to move back into my own bed and she and her sister were going to be sleeping in their room together, though I wasn’t sure when I was going to actually enforce this declaration. One night while at a Girls Night Out, my husband surprised me by setting up their room, special new sheets for my oldest and a pack and play next to the bed for the baby. He also dealt with the first night’s transition and when I came home, they were both blissfully sleeping and woke the next morning happy as can be. Each night since there have been some (very slight) protests from each of them but they are both sleep through the night, and this momma is too.
Looking back, I realized that I had made the transition much worse in my head than it was going to be and allowed fear to stop me from moving in the direct my heart was leading me. I think we all do that as moms, on things as small as graduating from purees only to Step 2 foods to the bigger things in life like pulling our kids out of a particular school because it isn’t right for your kid.
Hindsight is always 20/20 (so they like to say) but this experience motivated me to stop not moving forward just because it will be hard. Yes, some changes will be tough and might require more than one attempt and then some may be surprisingly easy but if I work at it – the payoff is worth it.
Have you experienced any transitions you were avoiding because you thought they would be overwhelming only to figure out it was much easier than expected?
Well I haven’t made the push yet but fear is absolutely holding me back from helping my 3 years old let go of his blanket. It’s not that he has a blanket that’s the problem, my five year old still has his little lovey. But my second actually chews on his full size baby blanket, we fear it is hurting his teeth, his bite, it requires washing every other day and is just yucky. But I fear so much how upset he will be to take it away! The transition is near though.
Oh I understand that too! My little brother had a blanket he loved for years and my mom finally had to get rid of it because it would rip with holes in it and she would find it tied around his neck-scary!
What about cutting it into a small square or having it made into a stuffed animal? That transition I’m sure will be hard no matter what-good luck!! Hopefully it will be easier than you fear <3
I need to follow your lead, friend!
Thank you so much for this. My 3 year old also started off in her own bed and ended up in mine just before age 1. My own fear of making her feel rejected has kept me from moving her to her own bed. But just like potty training and getting rid of the paci, I just did it and it was perfectly fine. So I have to get over my fear, rip the Band-Aid and make it happen!