Preventing Meltdowns With Music

Is it really possible to prevent meltdowns? Well, I admit it’s a stretch. All children will throw tantrums or become so fussy there’s nothing to do but melt down. But can you avoid some of them using music? Absolutely.

First, meltdowns can be so full of emotion, it’s best to look at them when you’re not right in the midst (now, for example) and understand what’s going on.

For babies, keep in mind that almost every place you go every day brings something brand new for your baby—a new grocery store means new lights to look at, new smells, music and other noises that are unfamiliar.

For toddlers, the developmental focus is attaining emotional security by feeling safe with mom, while at the same time, gaining the ability to do things by oneself. Putting on shoes, for example, is always a tantrum waiting to happen. A toddler wants to be able to “Do it myself” but often lacks the fine motor skill or coordination to do it and in frustration, simply refuses to put the shoes on.

Preschoolers are ready to imagine, create, pretend and frankly, just don’t want to be interrupted or bothered by someone else’s agenda, such as, “It’s time to go or we’ll be late”. A preschooler has her own agenda and it is less governed by chronological time than it is by finishing a story or game.

How can music help with this? First, music stimulates all areas of the brain and every learning domain: cognitive, emotional, language, musical, physical and social.

So through music, you are activating and integrating every part of the child’s brain and body.

Music activities are multisensory. Most musical activities for children involve not only auditory processing but also maybe visual, tactile, fine motor or gross motor.

So music is magical in that it can grab a child’s attention like nothing else. (And by the way, Mom’s voice is a child’s favorite sound in the world so don’t worry what you sound like, just SING to your child!)

But here’s the real magic. If you can incorporate music into your daily routines, you can prevent meltdowns!

1. Routines: Children, no matter the age, love routine. We all do, right. We like the familiar and the predictable. If you can use music as a cue throughout day, you will help ease your child through each routine. So you’ll need a song for waking up, a song for mealtime, a song for riding in the car, a song for strolling to the park.

Imagine this from a child’s perspective:

Choice 1: Child is sitting on the floor happy playing with ___. Mommy looks at the clock and realizes she’s gotta go. She scoops him up and dashes to the car, straps him in and whizzes off. Result: Child is frustrated he didn’t get to finish playing and now has to be restrained and can sense mom’s stress.

Choice 2 (with music): Mommy approaches the playing child with a song

“Here we go my little one,

Let’s go riding, riding, riding.

Here we go my little one,

Riding to the store.”

Aha! Child now realizes “Every time mom sings that song, I get strapped into my carseat. Now I know what’s coming. And she said “Going to the store. I’ll get a balloon!”

2. Empowering Independence: For the toddler’s burgeoning desire to do things herself, mom needs to build on every success with a firm and enthusiastic, “You did it!” Saying “Good job” or “Good boy” doesn’t have nearly the impact as describing a child’s success. Here’s a toddler “theme song”:

“I can do so many things, all by myself!

I can do so many things, all by myself!”

“Can you brush your teeth, just like this.”

“I can brush my teeth, just like this!”

Just change the words to fit the situation. No matter how small the success, singing it to your child will give him a feeling of, “Yes, I can do it and I feel safe.” That’s exactly what a child needs to feel to build that strong emotional security that is critical in the first 3-5 years.

3. The Rhythm of My Day: Transitions are the biggest source of frustration for children so if you can use music to create a rhythm to your day, you’ll do her and yourself a huge favor. If nothing else, use the tune “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush” and change it to “This is the way we ___” You’ve got a song for every activity!

For mealtime: “I like to eat, eat, eat ____ and ___” Or “Hot Cross Buns” (insert your favorite food in place of buns)

For bathtime: Wishy Washy Wee!

For playtime: turn on a favorite classical piece and move together or fingerpaint as the music goes staccato and legato.

And don’t worry if you’re using the same music day after day after day. That’s actually the ideal because repetition builds connections in the brain, enabling greater learning later. Children thrive on repetition.

There are so many ways to use music through your day. Of course, this is our area of expertise in Kindermusik. We are more than a music class. We like to explain what you can do for your child at every age and stage to nurture every part of his or her development with music.

If you want to learn how to use music through your day or just learn some new songs to teach your child, please come visit class anytime for free http://soundsteps.com/register-online/free-trial-visit/.

Or gather your friends and we’ll give your whole playgroup a musical playtime and we promise your child will benefit from the unparalleled advantages of music.

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Lisa is the director of Kindermusik/SoundSteps of Dallas. She is passionate about music and educating children with music. To learn more about Kindermusic and all its wonderful opportunities, check out their Facebook page and be sure to hop on over to their blog, too.