My Mess Turned into a Moment
I can think of many times I’ve felt like a terrible mother, but let’s not focus on the bad and instead I want to share with you something new I’ve learned this month.
I find myself in a busy season. I think in so many ways I tend to unintentionally complain that I don’t have enough hours in the day to work, mom, cook, clean, wife…bathe! I’m good at keeping the TV off most days and I follow so many Instagram moms that give me tons of ideas to keep toddlers busy throughout the day so I can get a few things done. I’ve been working so hard attempting to master motherhood (trust me, I know there’s no such thing and I’m happy to share all my failures with you over coffee or wine) that I wasn’t taking the time to enjoy the tantrums, enjoy the mess, and most importantly spend more time in the day bonding.
I like to have a routine. But one day after cooking breakfast for my 2-year old, after answering a few emails on my phone, after getting the morning dishes loaded, I couldn’t stop side-eying my clean laundry that had been sitting there a few weeks in an impressively large pile waiting for me or my husband to fold it. She was still eating breakfast so I grabbed a coloring book and a box of crayons and set up her drawing table. I grabbed my little girl’s hand and started to color with her, but after a few minutes I inched over to work on the laundry while she finished coloring her unicorn panda.
My kid then side-eyed me, she dropped the crayon and said, “I help you”. The first thing out of my mouth was “sweetie go finish coloring your page for mama”. Second, I thought to myself I need to hurry up and get these hung so I can change her pull-up, and the third final most important thought…what’s it going to hurt to let her hang a few of these up with me?
Does this sound familiar? I don’t think I’m alone here but if I am I feel even worse! I surprised myself, I sat 
down put all her clothes on the floor and handed her a hanger with a bit of a side smile. I knew her helping was going to make more mess and tons more work for me later in the night. At that point, it didn’t matter. I can’t even fully express to you the feeling I had as I watched her little fingers struggle to put the hanger on her dress and figure which way the hanger should face. As I was showing her how it’s done, her little tongue came out of her mouth and her sweet humming helped her to focus at the task at hand. The glow on her face as she thought she was making my load smaller was priceless.
This was a pretty big moment for us. I realized I was moving too fast, maybe being too productive? I’m not sure. I typically have many things going on at once and I’d say it’s a proud moment when I get them all done. But bonding? Whoa, I needed to take a step back. This mere moment caused me to analyze the way I’ve been spending my time. I learned I needed to focus on slowing down, for me and for my girls. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t get everything scratched off my to-do list. It’s OK if I tell someone no I can’t do this or that. That mere hour of hanging clothes brought us closer. Who knew that monumental pile of laundry could give my daughter and I such a beautiful moment?
Slow down, breathe, learn to enjoy the mess because that mess can turn into a beautiful thing.
