Deciding to homeschool was a very easy decision for our family. I have a master’s degree in education, and I’m a stay-at-home mom, so we had actually decided to transition to homeschool full-time pre-COVID-19.
I was going to be the perfect teacher, offer parenting advice on my own blog, and be a role model for other moms who were suddenly plunged into the involuntary homeschool teacher role. Well, that was great in theory! I want to tell you it’s okay to have a few homeschool hiccups along the way in my own version of “Nailed It: Homeschool Bloopers”.
First, there was a zorse.
I started out by taking this Homeschool Philosophies Quiz. It led me to the realization that I overwhelmingly lean towards Reggio-Inspired and Project-Based Learning. This basically means that my child is the guide, and I follow her lead. She learns through projects and various hands-on activities. There is way more to it than that, but it leads to my initial homeschool blooper.
We did our core curriculum work, and then I asked if she had any questions or anything she wanted us to study together. It all started with this one innocent question:
Aria: Mom, how do you get a zorse?
Me: A what?
Aria: A zebra and a horse. It’s on Minecraft.
This led to us staring at each other as I wonder what language she is speaking, while she doesn’t understand why I don’t have an easy answer. Well, I don’t know. I just tell her to Google it.
She then tells me it’s when you breed a horse and zebra in the game, and it spawns a zorse. She selected images and had her first mini-research project and I learned all about a zorse. We did art, played games, etc., implementing zorses and other mythical creatures that combine two or more animals. Nailed it!
Then, there was twerking!
I’m doing the dishes, and I hear Aria’s next question being asked to Alexa.
Aria: Alexa, what is breeding?
Me: Why are you asking Alexa that question? You’re supposed to be working on math.
Aria: Because Google said a zorse is when you breed a horse and a zebra. What’s breeding exactly? When I Googled it, it told me they are mating, but when I look up mating, it says they are breeding, so I don’t understand.
Me: Uhhhh……
Aria: When I looked at the images and videos, it just shows animals twerking on other animals. It’s really funny. Do you want to see?
Me: Uhhh……yes, that does look like they are dancing.
I quickly shuffle us back to our other educational platforms and hope this topic is now complete with funny twerking animals to never be brought up again. All of a sudden, my homeschool blooper doesn’t feel so much like a “Nailed It” win anymore.
Now, we have health class.
Literally…not ONE week later and completely unrelated to the zorse, our new puppy “twerked” on my daughter’s leg and started jumping up and down in excitement. Then, I hear:
Aria: Ouch! You scratched my penis.
Me: Wait, what is that?
Aria: This area [she points]. When we were at our cousin’s house this past weekend, his dad accidentally hit him with a water balloon right there, and he yelled that he got hit in the penis.
Me: Oh.
I’m slightly impressed that she has learned a new word and used it somewhat correctly and equally mortified that I’ve allowed my 7-year-old daughter to think that particular area is exclusively called her “front butt” her whole life. This, inevitably, led to me stumbling through an extremely watered-down version of the sex talk bringing in the previous topics of a zorse, breeding/twerking, and correct terminology for body parts. It ended with her asking if this is why she can’t sleep in our bed at night. Again, equally impressed and mortified.
My master’s did NOT prepare me for how to handle a very inquisitive little girl in the spur of the moment.
Finally, we have new educational plans!
The moral of this story is that I went into homeschooling with a plan. I figured out our homeschool style, took a state achievement test to find out where we need additional focus, and then let my child be my guide.
Well, I have completely decided that I will now be the guide, and the iPad will not be used for self-guided research projects without me watching over her shoulder. As a parent, you’ll learn as you go, and it’s okay to make a few homeschool bloopers of your own. I only ask that when you do, that you please come back and share your stories here, so that we can all feel a little less alone in our new realities.
For more homeschooling resources, please check out the following articles from other Dallas Moms contributors:
So You’re Thinking About Homeschooling: 5 Steps for Getting Started by Alaina Pangburn
Prepping for our School Year {Homeschool Edition} :: How to Pick Curriculum by Amanda Lauro
This Pandemic Has Taught Me…Homeschooling is for Us by Bridgette Reed
