There.
I said it.
Let the mommy judgement begin.
In all seriousness, is there a more polarizing, controversial, shame-inducing topic in mommy circles?
But really, who are we to judge the way that a mom met her child? Will the moment that you go from pregnant to mom really be influenced by how you met your child?
I didn’t really have a choice with my first c section. I had been on bed rest for weeks due to pregnancy induced hypertension but my blood pressure continued to rise. At 37 weeks and 3 days my doctor determined that we couldn’t risk my blood pressure any more. She offered to induce me if I wanted the experience of labor, but told me she thought it would be a c section in the end. After talking to my husband, we opted for a c section the next morning.
We got to show up to the birth of my baby freshly showered, with hair and make up done and rested after a great night’s sleep. I checked in to the hospital at 10am and our sweet firstborn son was born an hour later.
You know what I remember most about the birth of my son? My husband getting to hold him first. Sure I remember his first cry, the nurses telling my his apgar scores and the doctor announcing his weight and length.
But most of all, I remember turning my head and seeing my sweet husband staring down at our baby boy. The surgery lasted for probably 30 more minutes after Parker was born and my husband got to snuggle our baby that whole time.
The next few months belonged solely to me: midnight nursings, days on end of diaper changing, swaddling, singing, and rocking. But those precious few moments in the delivery room belonged just to my husband. What a blessing.
Our second pregnancy was less than ideal. A subchorionic hemorrhage appeared on my placenta at 12 weeks and never went away. We endured several weeks of bed rest (read how I coped here) and I spent the rest of the pregnancy on modified bed rest/pelvic rest. My doctor said she’d be thrilled if we made it to 30 weeks. Miraculously, our second son held on until 37 weeks to the day. I went in to labor, checked in to L&D in the middle of the night and we met our sweet son at 9am.
Was a c section my first choice? Absolutely not. Do I regret having them? Absolutely not.
In my short time of being a parent, the biggest thing I have learned is to let go of my expectations.
Wonderfully well-behaved child at the park? Um no. I spent most of today chasing my toddler across an open field (with a 3 month old in the Ergo!) who only wanted to play in the creek. Baby that sleeps through the night early like his big brother? Ha, absolutely not. A beautifully groomed child that everyone compliments? Yeah, I was wiping sand boogers off his face today (ever seen sand meet a snotty nose? It’s pretty disgusting).
We are currently in the process of adopting baby #3 in to our family. And you know what? I’ll love him or her the same as I love the biological children that came from my body. It doesn’t matter how or when I meet this baby. They will be welcomed in to our family with open arms.
The next 20 years of parenting will be about managing my expectations and then letting them go. Nothing will go exactly as planned. Why should the birth of my children be any different?
Good for you! Love this post. I too had a C-section (child was breach) and I liked knowing what I had ahead of me. Glad it worked for you!
My friend and I had our 1st babies at the same time. I had all natural and she had a C-section and we both LOVED our birth experiences. She recovered like a champ and wouldn’t have done it any other way. And I definitely think it gave me some perspective – there is no right or wrong way, everyone is different, and a positive attitude will go a long way!! Great post!! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing! I had C-sections with both of mine, the first for breech and preeclampsia, and the second a repeat. The most difficult part was the recovery afterwards, particularly trying to sit up regularly to breastfeed. I think knowing you’ll need some helpers after is a good plan, and I do not feel sad that my babies were not born in the traditional way.
The method from which a healthy child (and mother) is born is the only thing that matters. I had a C with my twins; the lead twin was breech and I was 45 (not a typo) yrs old. They were fine, I was fine – the entire experience was wonderful! My doctor was a cut up; as was the anesthesiologist; so the OR was like a stage show. My husband bought a brand new pair of pulling chains, and my doc (being a farm boy) thought that was funny. They were sterilized and my husband wore them into the room. For you city gals; pulling chains help ranchers with a cow having a difficult birth… Yes, I could have been offended, but he was trying to be funny as we’d been trying for so long… It was all like fun and games – no pain, no stress. My husband got to carry his sons out of the OR, one on each arm; a big grin on his face. I loved it! I was home 2 days later; the boys with us. And yes, – I bonded with my children. I held them when they were just a few minutes old; and these past 17 1/2 yrs have increased such. Their father died of cancer a little over 2 yrs ago; so that bond has intensified. But the number of people who tried to give me sh– about having a C over “natural birth” will never cease to amaze me; especially from family members. What difference does it make?