I Called Security on the Big Kids at the Mall

Although it is a fantastic petri dish of winter cold and flu germs, I have to say that the mall play area has been a lifesaver for me in extremely hot or extremely cold weather in Dallas while my kids are little. It’s a good way for them to burn off energy out of the weather, and it’s fairly contained for my toddlers who always loved to roam.

One thing has always dampened my enthusiasm for the mall play area: school holidays. Summer break or winter, or even MLK day. Any time that the “big kids” are out of school, the mall play area is sure to be overrun with children as old as 10 years old. I’m not talking about young Mother’s Helpers or older siblings who are there specifically to help watch the babies and toddlers in their care. I’m talking about a group of 10 year old boys crashing through the tiny plastic landscape, trampling the immobile little ones unfortunate enough to be in their way. The ones who ambush my 3 year old by hiding behind and rock and screaming at him until he cries, and then run off, laughing. Swinging off of anything high and knocking over preschoolers who didn’t think to look upward before rounding the corner.

There’s a little plastic monkey outside our mall play area who holds his hand up playfully at the maximum height you can be to enter the play area.

And you know what is right beside that little measurement device? The phone number of mall security.

On at least one occasion, I have called that number.

I remember specifically the first time (and maybe only, but I can’t remember for certain) I called that number. Of course, I walked away from the play area a bit so that no one else could hear me make the call. I walked back with a ridiculously guilty feeling. Like I had done something wrong, something that betrayed all my fellow moms. And I remember even more how angry the kids and the moms were when the security guard showed up and enforced the height limit.

Because I get it, really I do. When you have children that range in ages from 3 to 10, as many of us do, it’s hard to say “no” to your older children when you really want your younger children to have the opportunity to play in the play area. My own kids are 15 months apart, but my son is just now (at 5 years old) around 42 inches tall. The maximum height to play in the play area is 42 inches. He asked to go to the play area today and I got that measuring tape out. When I read what it said to him, I told him I wasn’t sure if he could go in. I explained to him why. It was not fun, and I’m not sure he fully understood. His little sister can still play, why can’t he? 

I thought to myself: my 5 year old might be OK in the play area. He is a gentle guy, and very respectful of babies because we have so many friends, cousins, and neighbors with tiny ones that we watch and play with regularly. But I also know that he gets excited sometimes and loses control of how rough he’s being with Daddy at home. I understand that it’s likely he could play without being aware of the younger ones and he’s getting big. I am his mom and I know him. I have to be honest with myself and make the judgement, even when I don’t like the answer.

I decided to take him up there and tell him that we weren’t sure if he could go in or not, we would have to see. Here he is, right by the sign indicating height limits.

In the end, I let him play that day. But I called him back to me multiple times when I saw him getting a little excited to remind him to be careful. He came back to me a few times and told me how he was carefully watching out for the babies and I told him what a good job he was doing. He was respectful and gentle. All the while, I was watching the reactions of the other moms. Were they annoyed? Did they seem worried about his size? If I had seen any of those signs, I would have pulled him out to sit by me on the side.

He was the only child there over the age of 3 that day. If someone had called security on him, I would have understood and so would he. Would he have been happy? No. But I had informed him beforehand of the risk. I told him that if someone felt he was too big and asked him to leave, he would need to sit with me outside the enclosure while his sister played. It’s the rules, and it’s only fair.

Do I feel differently about the day I called security on the big kids now that my oldest is a “bigger kid”? No, I don’t. I would do it again. The mall play area is not the correct venue for a group of 10 year olds playing tag. I posted this photo on my Facebook profile and most of the other moms agreed that older or taller children in the play area are fine as long as they are being careful and respectful. I feel like this is about behavior, not size. As moms, we have to be aware of our kids’ behavioral tendencies and direct them to activities where their preferred method of play is acceptable and safe for others. This means saying “no” to some activities they might have enjoyed when they were younger, and sometimes even inconveniencing ourselves as moms. I guess that’s just called “growing pains”. 

What do you think? Is it about height limit or behavior? Have you ever called security on big kids play roughly?