The difference between a baby and a little boy is subtle. Kyler is now 13 months old which means he is in this strange limbo between babyhood and boyhood. He can walk, understand things, and feed himself (some things). He also still wears diapers, can’t talk, and falls apart if he gets over tired.
Since most of his life he’s been a baby, I think I’m always surprised by his little boy moments. The subtle shift became overwhelming the other morning when our AC had stopped working. Since I was sick of sweating in bed and not sleeping I decided to go out into the living room early that morning and get some reading done.
It was about 5:45 in the morning, at least an hour before he usually wakes up, when I heard Kyler cry out from his bed. It was a different more desperate cry, so I quickly went into his room and picked him up. He was obviously uncomfortable so I figured I would get him some water and try and put him back to bed. As I walked into the living room, much to my surprise, Kyler wanted to be put on the ground. I set him down and he walked himself over to the fridge and started to tug on it. I filled up his sippy cup and handed it to him. He sat down on the kitchen floor, drank half the sippy cup and walked back to his crib to go back to sleep.
It was the first moment as a dad I had really seen Kyler as a little boy. He didn’t want me to carry him. He wanted to walk. He didn’t want me to give him a drink. He wanted to drink the water himself. It’s a moment I won’t ever forget.
I have no doubt these subtle shifts will happen his whole life, the gradual but inevitable change that comes with a kid growing up. Sometimes I’m scared the shifts will be so subtle that I’ll miss them. I’m worried that one morning I’ll wake up and realize Kyler’s not a little boy anymore, or not a teenager anymore, and I won’t have treasured those stages.
It seems strange to be resolved to treasure the ordinary, but I think part of being a parent is doing just that. Life-stages are very rarely delineated by anything extraordinary. I don’t want to forget the way I held Kyler as an infant anymore than how I walked with him as a toddler.
So here’s my challenge: Don’t let the subtle shifts sneak up on you. Don’t get so bored with the mundane as to forget the fleeting reality of it. Because one early morning, your son or daughter may wake up and not be a baby anymore, and you’ll be sad you missed it.
****************************************************************************************
Cody Kimmel is a worship pastor, student, writer, and musician. More importantly, Cody is the husband of DMB co-founder, Lauren, and the father of Kyler. He also writes a blog called Shouts From the Wilderness.
