Sometimes, the greatest enemy of an efficiently functioning home is an uninformed husband. This is a kind way of me saying that guys like me tend to screw things up. Now, I understand this is not the case in all situations, especially in homes where both parents work. However, as a husband who is at work during the week and away from the home, I’ve learned that I can ruin in five minutes what may have taken well over a week to develop.
For example, earlier today I was able to come home from work a bit early and we made brownies. After playing outside for a bit, right before dinner, I thought it would be a fun idea to give Kyler a little bit of Brownie, since he had never had one before. Had our home been husband-proofed, I would have known that giving Kyler something like that before dinner means him not eating dinner because broccoli just doesn’t live up to the taste of Brownies. After a year of being a dad, I’m still learning a lot and am still capable of throwing a wrench in the middle of a productive home. But I have learned a few things about how a wife can help husband-proof her home so that the husband can interact and help without hurting the flow of things.
1. Tell your husband what the baby has eaten and what is available – One of the ways I like to bond with my son is be involved with feeding him whenever I can. When I get home from work, I’m usually happy to make him whatever he needs to feed him while I give Lauren a break. All that said, if I see a box of Goldfish, some cottage cheese and apple sauce, I’ll feed him that every time. Although this might be okay every once in a while, it doesn’t help Kyler have a balanced diet. When Lauren takes the minute or two to tell me what he’s eaten today and what is available to make him, I can interact with my son, give my wife a break, and not destroy my sons diet in the meantime.
2. Communicate new routines – Babies and children don’t stay the same. They are in a constant state of flux. This means that some techniques and routines that worked well one day won’t the next. As it turns out, husbands can’t read your mind or know things that they are not there to experience. So if something changes with the routines, whether it be with eating, napping, playing, or anything else, communicate it clearly. Routines are very important for children, especially babies. So husband-proof your homes by telling them when those routines change.
3. Tell him where things are found – This might seem insignificant, but in the same way I have to constantly explain the way our four remote controls work together to change the channel, I need constant reminding where things like spoons, wipes, baby bjorns, and bath toys are kept. It can take me thirty minutes to find the tops of the sippy cups hiding behind the cereal boxes. The questions might get annoying at times, but the time saved and the carnage of destroying a house looking for socks being averted is worth the few seconds it takes to answer our annoying questions.
4. Leave some wiggle room – Before we even got married, Lauren and I knew we were very different in a lot of ways. So when we got married we learned early on to allow wiggle room in our expectations of each other and the way we approach things. This has become even more important now that we are parents. By Lauren giving me some wiggle room to parent Kyler differently in some circumstances, I’m far more inclined to be involved in significant ways. This doesn’t mean that we don’t talk through a lot of stuff and that we aren’t on the same page with the major things. However, if there is no room for difference, it would be easy for me to get discouraged and disengage. Giving your husband wiggle room communicates that his uniqueness is respected, which will only encourage him to work harder to use his uniqueness to serve the efficiency and happiness of the home.
What are some things that have helped you or your husband maintain an efficient home?
****************************************************************************************
Cody Kimmel is a worship pastor, student, writer, and musician. More importantly, Cody is the husband of DMB co-founder, Lauren, and the father of Kyler. He also writes a blog called Shouts From the Wilderness.
It’s so wonderful to hear from a great dad! It helps dads, too, I am sure when systems are as obvious as possible! Thanks!