I’ll confess, I’ve never believed.
I was one of those “born an adult” type of children. I was never fooled by myths of fictional fairies that bought my teeth or rabbits that enjoyed painted eggs. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that no chubby guy in a red suit was going to fit down my chimney. In fact, the only feet I ever heard pitter-pattering on Christmas Eve were definitely not on our roof. They were those of my parents shuffling presents from their “secret” hiding place (I knew it was their closet) down the hall.
Okay, maybe I’m a bit of a cynic. A natural born skeptic who prides herself in the rejection of fairy tales and fantasy, I could see no good reason to tell my children that Santa Claus existed. My husband, very much cut from the same mold as I, agreed. We didn’t want to lie to them after all. What kind of a precedent would that set?
But, then it happened. My son had just turned three and the jolly bearded fellow kept showing up everywhere. And, one day, while we were driving down 635 my son spotted him, (or, rather a giant balloon likeness of him), on the roof of a building, waving at all who passed by.
“Mommy, look! Look! Is that Noah on the roof up there?”
Hmmm… Noah? Score one for his Bible lessons. But, I knew I was going to have to tell him that wasn’t Noah or someone else would.
“No, Buddy. That’s Santa Claus.” I mumbled.
“Who?” he responded.
Santa Claus.
He got distracted by a passing car, and we left it at that.
Over the course of the next few years assorted television Christmas specials, strangers everywhere, and Santa impersonators at strategic locations helped reinforce the myth we were avowed not to perpetuate.
Questions like, “Are you waiting for Santa?” “Did you make the nice list?,” and “What’s Santa going to bring you?” came at us faster than those little colored crystals spill out when you are decorating cookies. Friends, family, and store clerks kept the Santa chatter going the entire season long, leaving us smiling, nodding, and frequently speechless. We weren’t “doing Santa” but how could we tell people that without sounding like the Grinch?
Should we just play along?
Resolved to not do that, we decided maybe we’d just tell him: Santa isn’t real.
But, just when we were ready to break the news, it happened.
Santa showed up at preschool.
And, different from Mickey, Elmo, clowns, and the Chick fil-A cow, Santa actually didn’t scare the stuffing out of my son. In fact, he kinda liked the guy. We ran into Santa again at another holiday party and my son informed the bearded character that his voice sounded different than it did when they met at school. Santa, without missing a beat, replied that he often sounded different outdoors.
Now this was going to be challenging. He met Santa. Convincing a 5 year old that someone he’s met doesn’t exist. That’s going to be tough.
We drifted through the remainder of the holiday season…dodging questions about how Santa got in and thankful that our son wasn’t looking for presents specifically from his new friend Mr. Claus.
Now, a year after our Santa encounter, we needed a plan. There was no ignoring this Santa thing any longer. With a six year old, a four year old, a soon-to-be three year old and an eighteen month old, whatever happened with Santa this year would set a course that would stick. Whatever reputation old St. Nick earned in our house this season would last for a while.
So, what did we decide?
We decided not to lie.
But, because their eyes fill with awe and wonder whenever the topic surfaces, we decided not to spoil the fun either.
We won’t tell our children that Santa does things that he doesn’t (like fly with reindeer or go to everyone’s house around the world all in one night), but we won’t go right out and tell them he doesn’t exist either. Instead (inspired by this great blogger) we are telling our littles that Santa “has a secret,” and when they think they know it, they can share and we’ll tell them whether or not they have it right.
And, so far, so good.
I haven’t yet decided if we’ll make cookies for him or not. I’m leaning towards no, mostly because I know who’ll have to eat them. (I’d hate to waste good cookies).
I want our children to know the real reason for the season. But, I think allowing them to enjoy and appreciate all of the holiday fun, Santa included, will work out just fine.
What do you think? How do you “do” Santa at your house?
I tell my kids all the time that Santa isn’t real. He is a fairy tale like other fairy tales. But the rest of the world tells them differently and I don’t think they really believe me.
Our children know that Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are not real, but we told them that some children believe they are real. To respect others, we told them not to argue with other children about it because some parents want their children to believe in these characters. Our children’s response “Why would parents lie to their children like that?” I sure was glad we made the decision we did for our family! I am not saying that letting your children believe in these characters is wrong. Each set of parents has to make that own decision for their own family.
LOVED the blog article you linked to about “Santa’s secret!” What a great perspective!
That seems like a great middle ground you have found. Not lying to your kids, but allowing their imaginations take over a little bit, until they figure it out themselves.
We’ve lied all along. I want my child to learn the lesson in life that some stories are just fun. When they’re old enough, they figure out and feel a sense of accomplishment.
I knew he was onto us when he met 3 different Santas in one day. He acted as though each was the only one. He told each of them that he wanted an airhog remote control helicopter.
Later that night he told me that he was getting 3 different airhogs. Hahaha
I must say, I do find a huge amount of IRONY with you stating that you don’t want to teach your kids fairy tales, yet you teach them Judeo/Christian lessons as if it’s fact. I Know it happens everywhere, but I was sort of let down after your intro of “not being fooled by myths”.