I love catching up and reconnecting with old friends, school mates, my church community and extended family, but, for some reason it can be intimidating to find ways to reconnect with the one person that needs to be on the top of my list – my partner in life, my husband.
When life gets a hold of me, the easiest person to take things out on is my husband. I’m not sure why, but it tends to be easier to smile and be kind to strangers then those living in my own home. During the twelve years we have spent together, we’ve fallen into routine most years, one year we forgot to go on a date, and other years consisted of not appreciating one another or loving each other the way we desired. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had amazing years too; however, marriage will always be a journey we may never master, and I wouldn’t want to be on this adventure with anyone else.
With that in mind, last year, we made a commitment to work on loving each other and experiencing quality moments more frequently. I didn’t have a clue how to even start to reconnect with someone who is already my best friend and it lead me to ask myself, “how did we get here”? The answer for us was kids, school, extracurricular activities, work, side hustles, family events, chores, home projects…the point is – the list never ends, but “us time” hardly made it on there.
I’d also like to point out that many of us at one time or another may unintentionally compare our relationships to those on social media. Here’s a friendly reminder that social media contains mostly highlights of people’s lives sprinkled with a bit of reality and a dash of “bad days”.
In my first attempt to reconnect, I spent a lot of time searching for date night ideas and things to do with your spouse, but turns out I was making it way too hard on both of us. I remembered the simple things that have always made us connect including laughing together, smiling together and simply holding each other.
That’s when I discovered these 5 simple ways to reconnect that work for us…
- Spending at least one night of the week sitting on a messy bed face-to-face to talk about anything. No limits, no judgement and a lot of listening. If you’re looking for ways to get started, check these out: My Husband and I Officially Have Nothing to Talk About.
- Find at least one time a day to hold hands. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. Even at home! I mean how hot is that!
- Many surprise text messages throughout the week showing you’re thinking of one another.
- Give each other at least one kiss AND one hug a day. I realized I don’t typically ever hug my husband as much as I would want to, yet it’s so effortless.
- Do one kind thing a week for each other. Something unexpected.
I know this seems like yet another thing to do, but me loving and connecting is a choice I make daily. Sometimes, we just need a friendly reminder of how EASY it can be. These small tokens of love to reconnect truly pay off.
I’d love to hear about how you and your partner are reconnecting! It could be something silly, romantic or totally weird!
