1. You have a posse. Your posse may be big or your posse may be small, but regardless of its size you definitely have a posse. You are surrounded almost all the time by people who think you are the best thing in the world. They want nothing more than to be near you and make you happy. And like any real posse, sometimes when they try to do things to make you happy it can have the…opposite effect.
For instance, have you ever woken up from a nap to find that your entire living room has become a fort complete with removed cushions and 6 clean sheets strung around the house? And don’t forget that inside that fort is a full-on tea party with crackers ground into the carpet and more baby carrots than any human could hope to consume in one sitting.
2. You exist solely on adrenaline and drugs. Let’s be honest, caffeine is most definitely a rock star mom’s drug of choice. When the baby gets its nights and days mixed up, who needs to be in tip top shape for all that the day’s “show” will bring? When little nightmares and sick babies have YOUR days and nights mixed up, a good ole cup of joe [or three] can be the difference between a low key day and zombie-mom apocalypse. Whether it’s preparing food and caring for the kids at home or making sure that a brief gets filed on time, living a rock star mom life is no excuse for not getting the job done.
3. They love you, they really really love you! Being a rock star mom is more than just having a posse surrounding you – it’s having a fan club so intense that your entrance into a room brings shrieks of pure joy. Having a bad day? Your fans don’t care. Did you lose your temper? More than once? You can apologize, snuggle, and all is immediately right in the world again.
4. Can’t Sing? Who Cares! We’ve all heard poor Britney Spears singing Happy Birthday without her auto-tune, right? Well that’s nothing compared to me belting out “Let It Go” in the living room. The great thing about being a rock star mom is that even if you miss every single note, your enthusiasm can totally carry the day.
5. Looks Mean NOTHING. Steven Tyler. Mick Jagger. I could go on and on, but the last great thing about being a rock star mom is that your fans don’t care how you look. Like ever. Since I have been unsuccessful at making the “greasy ponytail” come back into style [was it ever actually IN style?] I instead try to focus on the fact that my fans are all about substance over style. They would much rather have messyhappydidiforgettotakeashowertoday mommy than coiffeduntouchabledontpulloutmyearringsorwrinklemyoutfit mommy. Of course, when I perform in the big leagues [a.k.a. date with hubby] I try to pull out all the stops.
So tell me, how is YOUR life like being a rock star?
