You Know You Are Potty Training When…

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I think I speak for a lot of parents when I say that I do NOT like potty training.

Potty time in the CAR

I honestly would rather go to the dentist every day for two-weeks straight than potty train my toddler. The picture to the right only serves to support my feelings.

Let me point out everything wrong in this photo:

  1. The potty is in the back of my new car. Nice and sanitary.
  2. My daughter is eating a sucker while on the potty. Gross. I chose to avoid a tantrum by letting her keep it in the hopes that she would go “pee pee”. Nope, she sat there for 20 minutes and yielded nothing except sticky hands and a wet sucker stick.
  3. I am sure the people shopping nearby thought I was crazy for crawling in and out of the back of my car.

In celebration of my potty training failures I gathered other parents’ thoughts on the subject.  Here is what was shared:

You know you are potty training when…

  • You say “pee pee in the potty” about a thousand times a day.
  • You will “potty-talk “in front of total strangers including the President if means getting your toddler to go.
  • Successes going in the potty are equal to Olympic gold medal wins.
  • Your toddler’s once varied and healthy diet now consists of M&M’s.
  • When you let your dog out in the backyard to go potty…you let your child out too.
  • You carry the new and improved portable potty in your diaper bag or car.
  • You and your husband have a full choreographed “pee pee in the potty” dance that you will perform together no matter who else is around.
  • Potty Training Cheer Leader

    You have a mountain of dollar prizes stashed in your closet.

  • You recently borrowed a friend’s carpet shampooer for an “emergency”.
  • You buy underwear, sheets, and mattress pads in bulk.
  • Your kid refuses to go potty in his diaper so you have to pull over and let him pee pee in a cup.
  • Like the mafia, you bribe often and with ease.
  • You tell the baby “food is found in the pantry, not the potty”. Yes, THIS happened.
  • You are afraid to leave your house…and when you do an accident ALWAYS occurs.
  • Your child greets visitors at the front door naked from the waist down.
  • The “small load” cycle on your washer is used multiple times a day.
  • Some underwear just needs to be tossed in the trash.
  • Your legs and arms become firmer from squatting to hover your child over a public toilet.
  • You grow accustomed to the potty seat being inches away from your face.
  • When you ask the store attendant where they keep their “big girl panties” and get no response.
  • When you sing “Happy Birthday” to the #2  EVERY time your toddler goes in the potty because it is kind of birthday…and it is the only way to get him to do it!
  • You call, Facetime, text, Facebook, or e-mail the entire family when your toddler goes  #2 in the potty for the first time.
  • You desperately wish Total Wine and Starbucks delivered.

Potty training can be tough, but I think laughter really is the best coping mechanism!

Learning to Read and go Potty!
Learning to Read and go Potty!

Want other Mom Funny’s? Check out these posts from Dallas Moms Blog:

20 Easy Ways to Identify the Mother of a Preschooler or Toddler

35 Awesome Toddler Tantrums

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