While most mom identities are based on funny stereotypes, they’re also very real. “Crunchy” moms are known for taking a holistic approach to parenting and home life. On the other end of the spectrum are “silky” moms, known for embracing all the modern conveniences available.
The first time I heard the term “scrunchie mom,” my millennial heart sang! That’s it! That’s me! My former gymnastics, 90s child, forever love of scrunchies would define my journey through motherhood. It’s, like, my destiny.
Finding my mom identity has been challenging, so it was liberating to discover the term. I’ve never defined myself under black-and-white terms, yet becoming a mom made me feel like I needed an identity to make it through. My struggle was finding an identity that felt authentic without constraint. Now I know: I’m a scrunchie.
What’s a Scrunchie?
My description of a scrunchie mom is “part crunchy, part mainstream.” A scrunchie mom selectively chooses aspects of different parenting methods that best fit their family. With balance as the goal, a scrunchie mom removes judgment and celebrates, following her unique path.
In practical terms, a scrunchie mom may exclusively breastfeed, utilize full-time childcare to return to work, prioritize wood toys, limit screen time, and make meals from scratch with minimal packaged snacks.
Another scrunchie mom may breastfeed and formula feed, use cloth diapers, be a stay-at-home parent who embraces screen time, and rely on premade meals and packaged snacks.
In short, the scrunchie mom is exactly who she wants to be!
Highlights of Being Scrunchie
When I talk to other moms about what scrunchie means, I highlight a few powerful facts.
- Scrunchie isn’t all-or-nothing.
- You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions.
- Parenting is a journey, and nothing is permanent.
- Research is a valuable tool. So is your instinct.
What I’m Loving About Being Scrunchie
I’ll never love labels, but I fully embrace being a scrunchie mom. Here’s some of my favorite reasons to be scrunchie.
- It’s the best of both worlds! I can celebrate having a home birth, exclusively breastfeed, and feed my child cereal for breakfast. My modern side chose an amazing preschool for my child so I can advance my career, and my crunchy side sends homemade lunch to keep him fueled for learning.
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- I do what works for me now, present day, in this situation. I feel confident in my decisions and thankful I have back-up options. I feel less stressed about getting things right the first time. My view of parenting is much more fluid, and I’m better able to adapt to the unexpected.
- Making mom friends feels easier. I truly think friendships are one of the hardest things about having kids. As a scrunchie mom, I’m better able to let my guard down, initiate outreach to other moms, and check my opinions at the door. If my kid is safe and having fun, I can find something to talk about and enjoy my time.
- Gratitude helps me focus on the big picture. At the end of the day, I’m thankful for healthy food on the table and a safe place for my child to sleep. I don’t stress when he eats cupcakes for birthdays and drinks juice on play dates. I try to keep a tidy home and laugh at the construction trucks parked behind my couch. One day I’ll miss them. I embrace gratitude as a busy mom.
- I have peace of mind. Early on, I was a typical first-time mom doing tons of research. As I’ve grown into my scrunchie self, I still research options and follow evidence-based practices. I also deviate from the norm and keep my options open. Most nights, I close my eyes feeling peaceful about my parenting decisions that day. (Let’s be real: no mom is ever fully guilt free.)
Be Yourself
If my reasons for being scrunchie resonate with you — wonderful! If you’re firmly in another mom camp — wonderful!
Hopefully you feel empowered to be the mom you want to be . . . maybe even a little scrunchie!
