Today I was a Lazy Mom…And That’s OK!

I wish I could say this post is filled with an abundance of information on a useful topic, or an awesome how-to for moms, but it’s not.
It is simply one of those, easy read, “hang in there, you are doing a great job even on your worst day” reassurance posts that we all need to see every once in a while! 

Relax, pat yourself on the back and enjoy this small reminder that everyday is a good day…somedays are just better!

Most days I wake up with a zest for the day and desire to be the best mom possible for my kids. I want to be able to be better than I was the day before whether it be practicing more patience, or being more present. I’ll be the first to admit when my kids want to play, 20 minutes seems like endless hours because I’m constantly thinking of everything that needs to be done while I’m sitting in my daughters’ room listening to all the different sounds slime can make. We tend to want our kids just to “be little” forever, but while they are busy “being little” we are missing it because we are in a hurry to take care of all of the less important things. I have to remind myself that in a few years I’ll be knocking on her door Frozen-style asking if she wants to make slime noises because she will have become be too busy to spend those amazing 20 minutes with me. Whatever the case is, I try to carry out those deep desires to be the A+ mom my girls deserve every single day. I’m not saying that happens every day because let’s face it, life throws obstacles that completely alter our moods and causes interruptions in our plans, but I generally try to do my absolute best to make sure my girls know that being their mom is my top priority and not only that, it makes me happy!

On this one particular day though, I woke up and something felt off. I didn’t have the drive and deep desire to be an A+ mom. Obviously, I wanted my kids to be happy, healthy, safe and taken care of like always, but I had no desire to do any extra, the motivation wasn’t there. Cooking, cleaning, playing, running errands–none of it sounded appealing and it was not ranking high on the priority list. It felt as though it took all the energy I had just to get out of bed and get out the door to carpool. I wasn’t sick, I wasn’t hurt, I wasn’t in a bad mood or anything like that, I just wasn’t feeling the zest at all. Normally if I wake up feeling off, I can fight through it and get through the day just fine, but not today.  It was a C+ mom kind of day and I was just going to have to make the best of it.

Today I wasn’t a “super mom”, I was a lazy mom…and guess what? That is OK. There is no shame in having an off day where perhaps your child dresses herself in clothes that may or may not have been part of last year’s Halloween costume. If it is within dress code and appropriate for the season, it works for me. Perhaps you didn’t get up and cook a large breakfast, we were blessed with Pop Tarts for a reason. Today, the baby doesn’t need to be in one of the chic outfits with matching, obnoxious bows that are waiting in her closet. Who cares? Clean diaper and pajamas all day work just the same! Who is going to hurt if for one occasional day you as a mom or dad are just a little lazy? No one, that’s who.

Something I learned as a single parent is that I can’t allow what others think they know shift the way I parent my children or practice self-care. I myself know my children are fed, clothed, bathed, loved, happy and sheltered. They are a million other things, but those things can look very different to outsiders looking in. On a lazy day, I may stop at McDonald’s and get my kids Happy Meals because cooking is out of the question. I’m going to get stares and judgmental glances from onlookers as I feed my 1 year old a disgusting chicken nugget but I don’t care. Again, I know that eating McDonalds is not the norm for us. My gosh my 9 year old thinks she’s won the lottery when I say we are going through McDonald’s because it is never my first choice.

On this glorious, lazy day of mine, laundry didn’t get done, the daily cleaning certainly didn’t happen, and playtime was minimal. I just needed a break and I know every single parent out there can feel me on that! I needed a break from the everyday demands that never seem to stop so I took breaks where it made sense. No makeup, no hairstyle, no getting dressed up, no excessive house cleaning, no long playtimes. Once my oldest was safe at school, I returned back home but not before stopping at Starbucks, and put the baby in her little play area in the living room, stretched on the couch and watched episodes of Friends. I didn’t lift a finger except to care for the baby…and I loved every minute of it.

Having an off/lazy day is essentially a form of self-care. Some people are quick to manipulate and create this shameful story of how any sign of laziness makes you a bad parent. What?? No. Taking some time for yourself in any form that makes sense for your life is not a shameful thing. If that form so happens to be a lazy day, so be it. For my lifestyle, it doesn’t make sense for me to fly off to Cabo for a week. Would I love that? SURE! Is that realistic? Unfortunately, no. I make my escape where I can and my escape just so happens to be:

• Sweatpants
• Starbucks & Junk Food
• Couch
• Re-runs of Friends

Parents run non-stop taking care of their families that rarely do they ever find a moment to be lazy. Sure we all slack here and there but have you ever taken a full day with a “not doing it” attitude? If not, you should. If you have a spouse even better, trade off lazy days. Take a minute for yourself and understand that 1 day of well-deserved laziness is not going to ruin you.

I know I will never be a “perfect” mom, and honestly I have given up trying to meet that expectation because it is exhausting. The kind of mom I will be is the kind that tries her best every day and understands that not every day is a winner. Somedays are A+ days and there are the other days where asking me to put on a bra before going into public is asking too much. There are nights I lay in bed and cry because I wish I was a better parent and there are nights I lay in bed and smile because it was wonderful day for the girls and I. My point is that parenting is hard work and an emotional roller coaster anyway, do not make it harder on yourself by staying in an overdrive mode 24/7. You know the A+ days will always outweigh the C+ days so relax! Give yourself the gift of a lazy day and let your parental brain and energy recharge!

May the laziness be with you.