There are a lot of articles out there about staying home vs. working and do working moms really bring home money, etc. I thought it would be good to share from my perspective some tips to keep in mind when trying to evaluate if being a working mom is right for you.
1.) Does work fulfill you? If you’re just working for that extra cash to get your nails done or for what Dave Ramsey classifies as “blow money” and you’d truly rather be with your kids at home, then maybe it’s time to reassess the good ole budget and see if you can make it work on just one income. I personally work because I LOVE working. I write for a living, and I love seeing my name pop up on MSNBC. I would not be able to get that same sort of satisfaction staying home, and the level of satisfaction I get from working makes me a better mom and wife.
2.) Are you working to make it work? This is the most common discussion around working moms vs. stay at home moms. What is the true cost of day care and the true cost of working? I will use our numbers for reference. Daycare costs us $254/week. In addition we have to pay $3.25/day for her lunch. So that’s $1,081.00 a month. Her school is 8 miles from our house, so let’s just say it costs us $30 a month in gas. We have to have supplies at her school constantly so let’s just say $100 a month in supplies (diapers, wipes, formula—even though it evens out because we use half the amount at home, etc., we have to buy double.). So just the bare bones basics, we pay $1,211/month for Caroline to be in school which ends up being about $15,000/year. Now most business people make more than $15,000/year but you also have to look at what it costs you to work. Take your mileage, wardrobe, lunches, car maintenance, etc. into consideration. That, too could add up to about $10,000/year or so and now you’re costs are at $25,000/year and you could be making $30,000. Is that worth it to you and your family to net $5,000?
3.) Do you think you can provide your child with the enrichment they need to be successful children and ultimately adults? This was the biggest one for me. Yes, I believe I could provide the necessary enrichment for Caroline, but I know in my heart of hearts that I am not the best person for that. I am not the most patient person and I don’t have the proper training to teach her everything she needs to know. Additionally, I believe that children thrive in a socialized environment and us being at home together wouldn’t provide that for her. Again, this is just my opinion about our personal situation. Staying at home may save a few bucks in the beginning but in the end if your child is behind or doesn’t know some social basics when entering school, there could be more expensive issues down the road.
Of course, there are a TON of other things to take into consideration when deciding what’s the best path for you, but those are just a few of the things I looked at when it came time for me to make my decision.
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Vanessa lives and works in Irving with her husband Matt and daughter Caroline. She spends her days as a Corporate Communications Manager and her nights as a full time mommy and story-teller. Motherhood was a big surprise but she is loving every minute of it!
You totally would have been a great stay at home mom had you chose to! You don’t give yourself enough credit! With how good you are at multitasking, you would have had her writing her alphabet and speaking 3 languages by age 2!
You’re so sweet! ANNNNDDDDD you have a ONE YEAR OLD TODAY! Holy cow how this year has flown by!
I stay at home with my boys but I completely agree with your post….almost. The only thing I disagree with is that you need proper training to teach your daughter at home. I was a teacher before I stayed home with my boys and I think parents are the best teachers a child can have. There is a saying I saw recently that said, “The best readers are born on the laps of their parents.” It’s so true. I agree with Lauren. I have read a few of your posts and I think you don’t give yourself enough credit about staying at home mom but if working makes you a better wife and mom, then you are doing exactly what you should be! 🙂
I am the same here! I agree with about 80% of your post…I stay at home with my daughter and she actually has a higher level of vocabulary than kids her age. She is speaking at the level of a two year old and she is not even a year and a half. I read to her constantly and talk to her a lot. I agree with Lauren and Jamie…you don’t give yourself enough credit, but as they said, if that is what your family choses to do, do it! 🙂 I just don’t necessarily agree that children of stay-at-home parents are less sociable/smart/behind other kids who get a “head start” by being in daycare or school. There are many options for kids as young as two to participate in a learning environment as still be at home with mom. Thanks for being honest with your personal situation and I commend you for doing what is right for your family. 🙂