Tips for Having “The Talk” with Kids

I remember it distinctly. My mom sat between my brother and I on the couch. I was around 5 and he was around 8. She asked us simply if we knew where babies came from. When we both kind of just shrugged and shook our heads she said that after today, we would. 

She cracked open the classic, “Where Did I Come From?” and started reading. At the conclusion of the book we had a basic grasp of how babies are made.

When our oldest son started asking questions around the age of 5, I naturally turned to what I was familiar with and ordered a copy of the book myself. It worked pretty well for us and at the end of the book, like me, my son had a basic understanding of the birds and the bees. 

Other than turning to a time-tested resource to guide the conversation, I’ll keep some tips in mind when I have The Talk again with our younger son.

• Follow Their Lead There is no right or wrong age to have The Talk. When your little guy or gal starts showing curiosity about the topic, the time is right. 
• Shoot Straight Save fantasies for bedtime. When it comes to the facts of life, just stick to the facts. 
• KISS: Keep it Short and Simple This topic will come up again. Stick to the main points on this first go and avoid overwhelming your child with details that don’t matter right now. 
• Don’t Sweat It If you feel nervous about having The Talk with your child, you aren’t alone. Take some deep breaths, practice your talking points, or let your partner take the lead. You don’t want your child to pick up on your nervous energy and make The Talk an awkward interaction.
• Welcome Questions Expect and welcome clarifying questions along the way. If your child doesn’t have any, feel free to fire a few off in the other direction.
• Personalize It Not all babies are made the same way. If surrogacy, IVF, donors, or any of the other wonderful ways which families come to be are a part of your story, share that meaningful and magical detail with your little miracle! Also, resources exist for families of all kinds. Look for books that picture people who look like your family if that is important to you.

Have you had The Talk with your kid? Did you use a book or any other aids we should know about? How’d it go? Share with us in the comments!