Nothing will make a mom stop dead in her tracks like the first time she hears her own words echoed by her kid. I’ll never forget when my 4 year old niece said “I look so fat in this.” My sister looked like someone punched her. She vowed never to let her daughter hear her complain about her weight again.
But sadly, it’s just not that easy. We are only human. And a lifetime of looking in the mirror and being hard on ourselves creates some rock-solid bad habits.
But it doesn’t stop there. There have been several commercials on TV lately to remind us just how powerful our words are to our daughters.
I’ve seen this ad by Verizon shared a dozen times on Facebook in the last week. The main point is that only 18% of all college engineer majors are female. And while parents may not be to blame – this is a great reminder of how powerful our words are and how easily what we say can affect how our children think of themselves. Our daughters are more than just pretty — and they desperately need to be told how strong, resourceful, brilliant and powerful they are also!
This commercial from Always is also being shared on Facebook lately. And it wisely reminds us that to do anything “like a girl” should not be considered a negative. What are girls learning when they hear that used negatively? That to be a girl is to somehow be less. And that should not be acceptable.
Both of these ads make me think of my 12 year old step-daughter. When she runs ‘like a girl’ — look out, she’s outrunning everyone on the soccer field and is probably about to score another goal. When she wrestles ‘like a girl’ she’s taking someone down and pinning them. Her mom and dad have done an excellent job in making sure she’s confident and strong, not just pretty. But the teen years are ahead and we all need to do our best to make sure she stays that way!
But it’s not just girls. Boys still hear that they are not allowed to cry, like pink, or play with dolls — that those things are not “manly”. They can learn and have a negative body image just as easily as our daughters can.
That’s why I need to realize (and tell my children) that I work out to be healthy, not skinny. We will continue to tell my step-daughter and my daughter that they can do anything their brothers can. My son can cry any time he wants!
My words are powerful and I will use that power wisely. I want to encourage them to set their goals and dreams high! To get dirty. To explore. To play hard. To try and fail and try again.
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Totally agree! I recently realized how often, when people interact with girls, they say things like “you’re so pretty” or “I like your dress” instead of “What have you been reading?” “What hobbies do you enjoy?” Not that we can never tell girls they are pretty and have nice clothes, but THEY ARE MORE than those things. It has changed the way I talk to girls I meet and my friends’ kids.