Don’t misunderstand me; I love babies and toddlers! And I have my dream job teaching preschoolers. But as a mom, I must admit parenting very young children is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
When I had a 4 year old, 2 year old, and infant, my days were frazzled, overwhelming, and exhausting! I didn’t have a good night’s sleep for over 5 years. I almost always had at least one child on me, literally attached to my body. I barely had time to shower, and rarely got to pee alone.
But as my children have grown, I’ve entered a new era of parenting that has quickly become my favorite stage. In fact, I coined a term to describe it to my friends and family: The Golden Years!
My definition of a child’s Golden Years is the intersection of maximum independence and minimum irritability/apathy. In other words, my kids can do a ton of stuff by themselves, yet they still like me a lot and are fun to be around.
I have a 12, 10, and 8 year old and have been enjoying the Golden Years for a couple of years now. I sleep so well. My 5 years of famine in sleep has been followed by nearly 5 years of glorious, uninterrupted nightly sleep.
My kids make their own lunches for school in the mornings. I recently started dropping them off across the street from the school so I don’t get stuck in the awful circle drive. They walk the rest of the way with the crossing guard’s help. You can’t drop a 2 year old off across the street from anywhere.
They clean their own rooms and do chores around the house that are genuinely helpful to me. They do yard work, too. They eat almost anything, and we use real plates and glasses at the dinner table now. They can get their own snacks. Sometimes they even make a snack or hot tea for me!
They take showers and baths on their own! I have to tell them to do it, but still! No more leaning over the tub for me. They dress and groom themselves each day. They fold and put away their clean clothes without help.
I know I’m painting a beautiful picture here, so I better point out that the Golden Years do have their challenges, just like every stage of parenting. It is possible for a child to be too independent as I found out a few months ago. I went into my daughter’s room to wake her for school and discovered she had vomited all over the floor during the night. She had just leaned over the bed, thrown up, and gone back to sleep…TWICE. Somehow she didn’t feel the need to “bother me” about that.
Even with the challenges, this is easily the best stage of parenting so far. I don’t know what future parenting stages will look like. (I’ve heard a few scary things about the teen years.) All I know is I’m soaking up and enjoying every minute of these Golden Years while they last.
Weary moms of infants and toddlers- take heart! The Golden Years are coming. All that hard work you’re pouring into your little ones will blossom into something beautiful as your children grow in independence. One day you might even find yourself feeling nostalgic for the days when they needed you more. Don’t worry, a good night’s sleep will cure that.
What stage of parenting have you found to be your favorite so far?
Just the encouragement I needed to hear with a 4 year old and 9 month old. Thanks Becky 🙂
So glad to hear it, Karen! I remember those days well (at least the parts my subconscious hasn’t blocked because they were too traumatic…) It’s hard to imagine our babies as older children, but once they get there it really is neat!
Living the dream!!!! Ah- can’t wait! I am that mother currently with a 4 year old, 2 year old and an infant. Anxiously awaiting those glory days 🙂
Ah, Celeste! Giving you a pat on the back and high-5 Mama, because you are working SO hard right now…believe me, I remember how demanding that time of life can be!
Oh, I feel your (previous) pain! When our third child was born, for six months, we had three children under FOUR! All boys. It was pretty rowdy at our house at times, but we made it through and all three of them turned out just fine, thank you!