The other day, my 21 month old, verbally advanced daughter was walking around the house talking. Some of it made sense and some of it came out too fast for me to translate. The one thing I noticed, however, was that she was speaking at a volume mid-way between a normal voice and yelling. She was also giving me that sly sideways glace…you know the one. The one that says, “Mom are you listening? I’m doing this just to get a rise out of you.”
I tried to keep my patience. After all, our house is hardly quiet. And since our pediatrician declared my sweetie as verbally advanced when she was only 12 months old and speaking 30-40 words and already starting to put two word sentences together, you’d think I would be used to it {or at least prepared} by now. Because now my not-quite two year old is putting 5+ word sentences together, telling stories, memorizing books and nursery rhymes, and talking a mile a minute every minute.
Moms of talking toddlers {or anyone whose been around a kid who has just discovered they can speak} know how irritating the constant babble can be. I find myself getting impatient and using the phrase, “JJ, would you please just stop talking for a minute?!” And of course, when you try and remedy it in impatience, it just gets louder and more jumbled. They’re frustrated, and we’re frustrated. Sure, there are moments where she needs to be quieter, like when I am on the phone with the cable company trying to fix a bill or when I am talking to daddy about something that is actually important. But I notice that most of the time, when I am truly listening to her, taking the time to really respond and take in what she is saying, the volume goes down and the urgency of saying every word she knows goes away.
I had a mommy-moment this morning when I realized this. There is something about letting a child speak, getting to their level, and responding to what they’re saying that empowers your child. It lets them know that they are being heard, that they are important to you, and that you’re not too busy with your own stuff to give them a second of your ear. Sometimes, my daughter isn’t saying anything. Its just a mess of sounds and she has a smile on her face like she knows it. But when I play along and say things like, “Oh really!!” or “That is SO interesting!”, she giggles and either continues the show or moves on to a toy.
We want our children to feel secure and loved, and one of the best things we can do is to give them our time and listen. Giving them a moment and really hearing what they are saying, whether it be at the dinner table or in the car, and responding with more than a “mmm-hmm” gives them confidence. It truly encourages more verbal development because your child is confident in saying what they feel they want to say and are encouraged to explore more ways to say it.
As my children get older, I want to encourage expression and communication so when the time comes that they have something that is bothering them, a problem to solve, or just need a listening ear, that I have created an environment of support, encouragement, and listening. I want to hear about their favorite elementary school moments, their pre-teen crushes, and how prom went. And I truly believe that by fostering this environment when they are young, being available to listen, will create a lifetime of wonderful talks. Because, lets face it, I’m a girl and love to gab. 😉
