Once upon a time a 35 year old mother wrote about not wearing makeup and trying to become a less vain person. She wrote about teaching her daughters to value their inner beauty. And then, because God has a sense of humor, she learned that all of her brave makeup talk was nothing compared to the issue facing her now: HEARING AIDS.
It all started several years ago when I came in contact with my birth father. Generally in those situations one of the first things you find out is the missing medical history of your genes. In this case, I found out that both my biological father and my biological grandmother have/had a condition called otosclerosis. Remember hearing how Beethoven went deaf? Well, otosclerosis is what did him in. I knew that I needed to be very aware of this, and as a precaution scheduled my first appointment with an ENT. What I found out when I was there was that I had tinnitus, which is ringing or noise in the ear (I’d actually thought that the phrase “deafening silence” referred to the sounds in your ear when in a quiet place), but that there was nothing to be done. He checked my hearing and it was normal (yay!) so I was told to come back yearly and we could monitor the hearing.
Cut to this year, when I was one year overdue for an appointment and my tinnitus had gone from annoying in quiet situations to disruptive all the time. At night I would leave the door to the baby’s room open but would be initially unable to decipher his cry from the noise machine in our room. Many a nights I woke up and stumbled to the door only to realize that he was sound asleep. I would be watching t.v. with my husband at night and would have to ask him to turn up the volume so that I could hear (which is SCARY – high volume on the t.v. can wake up kids!!) It wasn’t that I was that hard of hearing, I just noticed that lots and lots of times I had to ask people to repeat themselves.
When I went back to the ENT and had my hearing tested he told me exactly what I both feared and hoped for: I had significant hearing loss from the time of my last appointment. This was horrible (for obvious reasons), but at the same time I was glad to know that there was indeed something wrong. When most of your days are spent listening to the emergency broadcast sound combined with the sound of the inside of a seashell (combined with three girls and a baby boy) you begin to wonder if you’re actually just going a little crazy.
I did, indeed, have otosclerosis, and I was informed that my hearing might stay at the level it was or could continue to deteriorate as time progressed. There was a surgery to repair the problem, but that surgery came with its own set of risks that my doctor felt did not outweigh the benefits at this point. The good news, as he put it, was that they could fix me up with a great pair of hearing aids that would help my hearing and most likely help with the ringing. They would be discreet and nobody would even be able to tell I was wearing them.
Wait…wha?! I scheduled an appointment to come back and speak with the audiologist and left.
The next week I spent mulling over my options, but the truth of the matter is that as much as I hated the idea of hearing aids I hated MORE the disruption to my life that the ringing was causing. Surgery seemed to a great option but the risk of permanent deafness, ringing, and even things like permanently damaged tastebuds didn’t seem worth it when I could just put on some hearing aids instead. Spending the week asking my children to speak louder so I could understand them only helped to solidify my decision.
One week later I went back to the office and met with the audiologist and we proceeded to discuss my options both within price range and appearance. Most insurances will cover some portion of hearing aids, but there’s no getting around how expensive they are. The price range for the types of hearing aids I needed were $4,000-$6,000 for a pair. Ouch! The audiologist was very kind and acted almost as a counselor by asking me about my feelings and whether I honestly felt ready to take this step. We talked at length about the benefits and what I could and couldn’t expect to improve. Most importantly, however, were the weekly visits we wold have to tweak the fully digital hearing aids and get them customized perfectly for me and the situations that are a part of my routine. If I was unsure at any time within one month, I was given the opportunity to back out.
I ordered the hearing aids and one week later I was back at the office trying on my first pair of hearing aids. At age 35. [Deep breath.] The audiologist put them in my ear and honestly that was the first time that I almost lost it. Feeling the reality of what life would be like wearing hearing aids caused a fleeting vanity meltdown that I quickly controlled. I pushed aside the thoughts that tight ponytails and large earrings which drew attention to my earlobes were a thing of the past. I pushed aside the thought that when my husband looked in my direction in the evening he would no longer see a sultry sexpot and would instead see the glaring wires of unsexiness. In truth they looked much bigger than I’d hoped they would be, but when I put them on they were indeed just as discreet as the doctor had promised.
It’s now been one week and I’ve had one follow up appointment which went very well. I notice enough of a difference to wear the hearing aids almost all of the time, but I do still struggle with my vanity. When my husband and I went to the Winspear Opera House last week, for instance, my hearing aids were noticeably absent from our fancy evening out.
On the other hand, I’m a little psyched to get my bluetooth adapter which will allow me to stream from any of my devices without ever having to wear headphones again. I’ll just keep on looking for those silver linings.
Are you a mom who’s had experiences with hearing loss?
Tell your story in the comments below!
