I became a mentor during the fall of 2022. After years of coaching, I became a mom, but I missed connecting with and pouring into other kids. At the time, I worked for a school district with a mentorship program that met during the school day. The opportunity felt right so I applied . . . and my life was forever changed for the better.
The Benefits of Mentoring
Mentor programs are great for personal and professional growth. Mentors can share experience, knowledge, skills, and demonstrate reflective listening skills. Mentees may develop increased self-confidence and awareness, improved communication skills, healthier relationships and habits, and even improved performance in school and hobbies.
Overall, mentoring is a net positive, especially for kids.
My Experience as a Mentor
Before I met my mentee, I thought mentorship was intense and laborious. I also thought mentorship programs focused on kids that were struggling in some way. This made me nervous.
Would I have what it takes? What if my mentee needed more than I could provide?
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The Frisco ISD Achieve Mentoring Program (FAM) helped me navigate uncharted territory, and provided guidance on what a mentoring relationship can look like. The expectations were clear, and the low pressure, safe environment was comforting for myself and my mentee.
A critical part of the FAM program is matching a mentor and mentee. Since I had a toddler at home, I wanted to mentor an older student to avoid feeling like their mom. My mentee was a perfect match!
Every week during the school year, I visited my mentee at her school for 30 minutes. Most weeks, I brought an activity to engage in while we talked. Some weeks we finished homework, researched colleges, or talked about whatever was on my mentee’s mind. The time was ours and, somehow, it was never enough.
One of the biggest surprises was how open my mentee was from the beginning. I knew a little about my mentee prior to meeting her, but I was not prepared for a 17 year old who says exactly what she’s thinking. In many ways, it was refreshing, and encouraged me to be open minded.
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What I Learned from Mentoring
Fast forward to the spring of 2024. My mentee graduated from high school and will attend a university in the fall. I’ve also grown over the last two years, and my view on mentorship has changed.
Now I know that mentorship is about showing up and being yourself.
Mentors don’t need to have all the answers. Mentors don’t need to show up with surprises every week, or try to win someone over. Mentors just need to be a steady presence of support and encouragement.
I also learned that all mentor programs are unique. Kids that participate in mentoring may be struggling in some way, or they may simply desire an additional supporter in their life. Programs serve different populations and have unique goals that fit their mission and community needs. This is awesome and gives every kid the opportunity to have a mentor.
The Best Part of Being a Mentor
What I loved most about being a mentor was having a neutral, reflective voice. This means I wasn’t a problem solver. I could listen and respond with curiosity for them to consider. My mentee could tell me tough things without fear of judgment, and we could talk about issues productively. We discussed things I would never have told my parents. I was someone without an agenda. I was simply an ally.
As a mom reflecting on the experience, I love knowing that my mentee’s village grew with stability. I was someone she could trust would show up every week. Looking ahead, I know that our relationship will continue and evolve, and I’m excited to be part of her story.
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Benefits as a Mom
I’m slowly adapting my parenting style to incorporate more reflective listening and neutrality, less problem solving. My mom instinct is very “let me help you,” and being a mentor taught me to take a step back. I also appreciate the adults who pour into my son. I know they’re a valuable part of his community.
My Message to Moms
If I can tell moms anything about mentorship programs, it’s this: Embrace the love and support — kids can’t have too much of either.
Raising a child takes a village of caring adults who are ready to pour into you and your child. With all the uncertainties that moms face, know that you’re not alone and every child deserves a mentor.
Resources
Here are some local resources to explore for yourself as a mentor and/or your child as a mentee.
- 100 Black Men of Greater Dallas/Fort Worth
- Big Brothers and Big Sisters Lonestar
- Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Dallas
- Dallas Leadership Foundation
- Frisco ISD Achieve Mentoring Program
- Girls Inc. of Metropolitan Dallas
- Journey Forward Mentoring
