Recently, I found myself in a little tiff with an administrator of a neighborhood Facebook online yard sale page. I thought I had followed the rules, she was adamant that I had broken them, and I was not near a computer to correct my mistake. The messages got heated and in the end, I got kicked off the page.
And you know what? It made me MAD. I stewed over it for a while, complained to my husband, and wasn’t present with my kids. I was so distracted by all this, that I finally just called it quits. I left almost every single Facebook group I had joined and then deactivated my account. For a while, I had a jerky thumb that just kept looking for that Facebook icon that was no longer on my phone. Then I moved to realizing I only got on Facebook out of boredom. And finally, I realized that I didn’t actually miss it that much.
{Don’t worry, this isn’t a post about how you should get off Facebook because it is ruining your kids childhood and what not. That’s not the point. In fact, after a good break I am delightfully back on Facebook with no regrets.}
My point is this: how many times do the little things bug us that really don’t matter.
It’s almost embarrassing to list the things that have “ruined” my day:
- A 3 week old baby wouldn’t sleep at the same time as big brother
- A store wouldn’t take my coupon
- My 2 year old didn’t listen and took off full speed towards an escalator at a busy mall
- Toys got put in the wrong bin at the end of the day
- Dinner didn’t go as planned
- Traffic. Don’t even get me started
- I didn’t get the deal I wanted on a Facebook yard sale page
Please tell me that I’m not the only one that allows petty, silly things to ruin my day, sap my joy and then snap at my kids.
This is what I realized: in the midst of the have it all, make sure my kid is set up the best for success ,my life is perfect online culture that we live in I lost the sanctity of these little lives that I get to shepherd for only a short time.
My brother went to college this fall and the day before he moved, my mom changed my 2 year old sons diaper. She teared up and said it felt like just yesterday that she was changing my brother’s diaper. I’ve heard that from so many people, but decided to press deeper. I asked her if she really hadn’t felt the passage of time the last 18 years. She looked at me and said yes, she has very much felt the passage of time and those long 18 years. But it was over and gone in the snap of a finger.
We will blink and they will be gone. Gone will be the cuddles and singing and games and books. Gone will be lazy mornings of staying in pj’s and making pancakes at 10am just because. Gone will the endless coloring, painting, mess making, chaos that is our daily lives.
Fellow moms, let’s not lose our kids in the minute of frustration over the little things that don’t really matter. It’s not worth it, but they are.
