Take That Girls’ Trip, Even If You Don’t Think You Need It!

I just got back from my first trip away from my son Theo since becoming a mom well over two years ago, and it was just what I didn’t know I needed to recalibrate, destress, and regain my personhood. I’ve been to the other side, folks, and let me shout it from the rooftops: Taking a girls’ trip, even if just for a day or two, can make you feel like a new woman and a better mother!

I’ve written before about how Theo and I were attached at the hip for the first couple years of his life. He weaned at 22 months and was a total bottle-rejecting milk monster for what seemed like an eternity. Up until this miraculous girls’ trip, the only time I had ever been away from my baby was a one-day whirlwind trip (leave at 5am, return at 10pm) to attend a funeral. I’ve been the primary caregiver for Theo’s entire life and have often been the sole parent while my husband works late or travels. Until this recent weekend I spent in LA with my closest girlfriends, I had no idea how badly I needed a meaningful break and how life-changing it would be.

Here are all the amazing things that came out of my weekend away:

I realized that my child needs me, but not every minute of every day.

We know this, but sometimes we forget. As our children get older, they become more self-sufficient and rely on us less. Gone are the days where I am the only one who can give Theo what he needs. A couple FaceTime calls each day let him know that I was still there for him, but I was proud to see how well he was getting along without me.

My husband realized that he can do a great job totally on his own.

Dads know this, but sometimes they need reminding. My husband Ash is a fantastic father, and my weekend away gave him a chance to shine. While Ash might not do things exactly the same way I do, his way is perfect. Theo loved the quality time with his dad, and I know the feeling was mutual.

My husband has a greater appreciation for the unsung labor I do all the time.

It’s no secret that moms often take care of what seems like an infinite number of invisible tasks that mostly go unnoticed and unappreciated. I personally feel like I’m constantly multitasking on all kinds of emotional and social labor, not to mention the daily tasks that make my household run. I’m grateful that after my weekend away, my husband has a better sense of what that entails.

I realized that it’s possible for me to get a good night’s sleep.

I don’t know about you, but becoming a mom turned me into the lightest sleeper imaginable. Every night I’ve been “on duty” (which has been every single night of Theo’s life, with the exception of my girls’ trip), I’m only teetering on the edge of deep sleep, waiting for the next interruption. Needless to say, I’ve been exhausted. But during my time in LA, I slept soundly for the first time, and even got to enjoy sleeping in!

I remembered what it’s like to wear exactly what I want.

For a fleeting weekend, I wore exactly what I wanted the entire time, without having to worry about sensible footwear in the event that I’d have to chase my toddler or having to lug around diapers and wipes. I can’t describe the thrill of carrying just a wallet and cellphone!

I was able to give my friendships the undivided attention they deserve.

This is a huge one, and a whole article could be written solely on this. My girls’ trip afforded me the chance to reconnect with my village in a way that’s been difficult since having a child. Having deep, fun conversations uninterrupted was amazing.

I remembered what it’s like to feel like my old self (but better).

While I love how I’ve fundamentally changed since becoming a mom, it was wonderful to remember a more carefree and selfish era of my life. While on my girls’ trip, I did what I wanted at all times. I put my needs first. I listened only to my desires. It’s a luxury that I didn’t take for granted.

I was given the chance to miss my family and daily life like crazy.

This speaks for itself. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

My patience was restored.

I only realized this after I got back, but just two days away erased years of stress and turned me into a whole new, very Zen person. I don’t know exactly what caused this magic (was it being away? was it sleeping better? was it missing my family?), but I’m grateful for it, whatever it is.

I internalized the importance of balance.

We all know that having balance, especially as a mom, is a good thing, but for me it was mostly lip service until my weekend away. Pouring from an empty cup is impossible, but how often do we really take time to meaningfully recalibrate? Self-care is an essential part of parenting. Any minor guilt I may have had about being “selfish” by taking a weekend to myself is completely gone, and now I regret not having done this sooner!