Christmas can be stressful for everyone, no matter what you situation is. You may have to visit family all over Dallas, like we do. Or you may even be hosting family during the holidays. No matter what your situation, Christmas is such a joyous time of the year, but it’s also stressful.
Sharing Kids at Christmas
If you’re like us, you have to think about when you will have all of your kids together and when your biggest kids will be with their mom.
We’re a family of seven but our oldest two kids, who are 13 and 11, are with us almost 50% of the time. Like most kids from divorced families, our oldest kids are with Dad one year for Christmas and Mom the next.
It can be hard on everyone, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. Maybe it’s because we’ve had several years of practice, but we’ve gotten our schedule down to a science.
In our society, it’s unfortunate, but divorce is common. I was one of those kids who spent one Christmas with Dad and the next with Mom. I know what it’s like for them.
Now, I have a whole new perspective. I’m the step-mom and on the parent side of the equation. It’s still not easy, but we’ve learned to make the most of it.
Making the Most of a Shared Christmas
The paperwork we usually live by said the parent who had them for Christmas would have them from the time they got out of school for the holidays until the 28th of December. The other parent would have them the rest of the holiday break.
It made sense, in theory, that the holiday break would almost be split in half. But in reality, by the 28th of December, people have moved on from Christmas. We wanted to do things differently and fortunately, we were all able to come to an agreement.
We decided to let the parent who did not have the kids for Christmas have them for the entire day of Christmas Eve. This way, both parents get to spend part of the two biggest days of Christmas with the kids.
How We Make the Most of Our Time
We save the biggest Christmas events for the times we have when we are ALL together. If it’s not our year to have them for Christmas, we cram our biggest events in to the day of Christmas Eve, which includes spending time with grandparents and opening presents.
It makes for a stressful day, but it’s all about spending time as a family and making the best memories we can no matter how short our time is together. We let the big kids open most of their presents on Christmas Eve and save just a few for them to open when they get back on the 28th.
For the years we have them on Christmas, we’re thankful for those three days they have to play with their new goodies after opening them on Christmas morning.
I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know how it will go when their younger siblings, who are 3 and younger, get older. I’m sure we will all have to make adjustments but I think flexibility is key when it comes to sharing kids over the holidays.
It’s really all about making the most of your time together as a family, no matter how short that time may be.
Do you have to share your kids over the holidays? I’d love to know what works for your family.
We share big kids around the same age as yours, 15 and 11. All of us try to be as flexible and agreeable as possible so the holiday can be fun for everyone! But I will never forget one year (about 4 years ago) when we had the big kids and on Christmas day they called their mom to say Merry Christmas. She said “Merry Christmas, Santa came and your presents are waiting for you!”. My stepdaughter was inconsolable until we took her home early to see her presents from Santa. And her mom felt SOOOO bad for messing up our day. It’s hilarious now, but was only a little funny then. We did roll with it pretty well though, trying to understand that it’s not easy on everyone (especially kids) to have to share. So I completely agree – flexibility is KEY!
Thanks for sharing Jamie! So glad that it works out you always get either Christmas or Christmas Eve. It would be so sad to miss out on all the special days with your kids!