My husband and I have walked into my late mother-in-law’s house for the last time.
We are in the process of settling her estate, including the sale of her house and disposition of everything in it.
From a hutch filled with china and crystal goblets to overflowing jewelry boxes and coin collections. And everything in between.
A lot in between.
Her clothes. The Notre Dame sweaters my late father-in-law was so fond of wearing. Her furniture. Furniture inherited from her mother-in-law, still in the same place in the garage where it was originally placed 30 some-odd years ago. My husband’s Cub Scout uniform. Christmas decorations. Lots and lots of Christmas decorations.
Every room, every closet, every shelf, every drawer. Full of stuff. A lifetime of stuff. Two lifetimes, if you count my father-in-law, who passed away 11 years ago.
What to Do With a Lifetime of Stuff
My mother-in-law was a neat and tidy housekeeper. But like many of us (myself included), she lived in a good-sized house with plenty of room to accommodate stuff. Things inherited from her parents and her in-laws. The broken vacuum cleaner waiting for repair in the back of the closet. Hundreds of books read once. You get the picture.
And the cost of disposing of all of that stuff? Having the estate sale company we hired go through every room, every closet, every drawer, separating the trash from the treasures, may cost more than will be generated at the eventual estate sale.
Her house has been transformed into a store, the estate sale company having cleverly arranged and displayed my mother-in-law’s possessions on tables in every room.
All of her possessions with any value, save the very few we kept, each with a tiny white price tag.
Losing your last surviving parent is hard enough. But being the arbiter of which of your parents’ and grandparents’ treasures get saved and which end up sold, donated, or in a landfill? gut-wrenching.
The lesson we have learned from this experience?
Most of the stuff in your house is worthless. And eventually, someone, either you or your kids, will be tasked with the overwhelming job of getting rid of it.
Most of Your Stuff Is Worthless
Most of the stuff in your house is worthless.
Yes, even the stuff you worry the most about, the stuff you think is so good you don’t use it for fear of breaking it, has little to no resale value.
From china, china cabinets, crystal goblets, silver tea sets, pianos, and collectible figurines like Hummels, to grandfather clocks and real pieces of craftsmanship furniture.
Why? Baby boomers have glutted the market with their castoffs, and millennials, the next generation of buyers, don’t want it.
Millennials hate both formal in-home entertaining and use of second-hand goods. With looming student loans, they tend to rent and move often. Who wants to be constantly moving a piano and a grandfather clock from apartment to apartment?
And furniture? There’s no market for so-called “brown furniture,” meaning any furniture (regardless of quality) other than the “mid-century casual” furniture (think clean, lightweight) favored by millennials. Brown furniture is basically firewood.
If it’s not in great condition, it’s also not fit for donation because it can’t be resold.
All of my mother-in-law’s furniture (including the pieces inherited from her mother-in-law and kept for decades)? Straight to the landfill.
Well, Almost Everything…
What do guns, LPs (records), and precious metals/gems have in common?
They are 3 things you might have in your house with a robust resale value.
Silverware also has value, but only if it is real silver and can be melted down.
3 Things You Should Be Doing NOW to Reduce the Amount of Stuff You Have
1. Be viciously thoughtful about holding onto sentimental items.
Here was our goal with sorting through my mother-in-law’s things. Keep just enough to remind us of her, but not so much stuff that our daughters are going to be dealing with it 40 some-odd years from now.
Here’s what we kept:
- A painting to be displayed in our dining room
- My mother-in-law’s treasured Swarovski crystal animal collection (all of which were given to her by her children and grandchildren over the years)
- Jewelry to be divided among the granddaughters
- Each of our daughters got to select 1 item
And that was it.
Well, almost. We did set aside photos to be digitized (with the originals then destroyed).
Was it hard leaving everything else? You bet it was. But we don’t want to be dealing with a lot of stuff years from now (or worse, leaving it to our daughters to deal with).
I try to be viciously thoughtful with my own sentimental items. For example, I don’t save any school papers or art projects from my kids (though I do take photos of my favorites).
2. Buy fewer books.
While used book resellers like Half Price Books do an important service in keeping books in circulation, a surprising number of books end up in landfills because many paper recycling facilities can’t process the the glue that binds book spines.
My resolution last year was to cut down on my book consumption by only reading books that I borrow from the library or purchase on my Kindle e-reader. If you haven’t used a library in years, now is the time to go back. My local library has an app where you can “order” books online, and pick them up the next day on a special “hold” shelf strategically placed next to the check-out kiosk.
How successful was I on my resolution? I read 1 to 2 books a week in 2019, only 1 of which was a hard copy purchased from Amazon.
3. Buy fewer, but better quality, clothes
The world is overflowing with used clothing.
We buy substantially more clothing over our lifetimes than our grandparents did.
Clothing made today is meant to last no more than a few years. In fact, a lot of clothing isn’t even made to withstand more than a few washes.
Think you are “paying it forward” but dropping off a load of unwanted clothes at Goodwill? Think again. Most clothing donations never make it to the racks at Goodwill and only about a third of what does eventually sells.
To really pay it forward, cut down on the amount of clothing you have by buying better quality clothes that last longer.
Keeping What Really Matters
My 5-year-old chose to keep a Christmas music box from her Grandma’s house. It plays “White Christmas” and has tiny ice skaters going around a rink inside. Each Christmas, my mother-in-law would bring out this music box and let each of her granddaughter’s play with it. It’s value in preserving a precious memory of Grandma? Priceless.
“Millennials hate both formal in-home entertaining and use of second-hand goods”
Who are the millennials you’re talking to?? I am one, and we LOVE second hand goods.
What we don’t love is boomers constantly misrepresenting us with blanket statements.
Brown furniture mAy not be popular among the next generation but it will make a comeback. Well made and hand crafted antiques will be wanted over cheap made. Then all those who have matured will wish they had a piece or two of their roots
I agree with Dave…estate sales are HOT. The motto today is Reuse, Recycle, re purpose.
Apparently, not a sentimental bone in her body. Kind of sad. I inherited photos and letters my parents wrote to each other during WWII and they are priceless. My husband has journals from his great grandfather’s journey from upstate NY to California during the Gold Rush. Sure there are things to dispose of that carry no meaning, but my grandchildren will probably like to see their father’s early artwork and stories he wrote.
Yes, I agree with the author that most homes in the U.S. have nothing but … junk. That’s primarily because (for the most part) Americans don’t value history and art. We don’t have an old world culture (as in Europe, for example) where there were so many things made by hand, with artistic skill. This is a junk culture frankly, so expect nothing but valueless items in homes, absolutely. It’s rare to find a home that has a piece of fine art – everything you see was factory produced … mass-produced, no re-sale value. And yes, the younger people are moving often and can barely afford housing, medical care, and other necessities of life – so they don’t want heavy and dark furniture. However, if you have things that were not mass-produced, there are effective markets like ebay, Chairish.com, 1stdibbs.com and other web sale sites where you can find buyers that appreciate items with personality; items that were produced with care and craft and personality.
Yep I also have to differ with some of her article. My grand daughter married two years now very much appreciates the beauty of crystal, China, silver, table linens and furniture. Sad that millennials prefer cheap pre fab junk furniture. That so called brown was well made and it easy to refinish. I personally do not like the new minimum interior decor today….it’s cold with all that gray, imitation wood looking grayish flooring, and hard edged furniture. Soon as they grow up they will realize laziness can be very unrewarding….the nice surroundings that required extra time and care will be at the dump!
She must be living on the high end of town. Those in the middle are flooding the yard/estate/garage sales where there are boatloads of young millenials who are appreciating fine quality furniture (albiet “old”) and taking opportunities to get a discussion going about antiquing/thrifting/instruction on the “old” stuff. Young people have much more interest in history and “worthless” items than the author gives them credit for.
I admit it. This piece made me cringe in a few spots, but there are two lines that had my eyebrows rocketing through my roof.
“We did set aside photos to be digitized (with the originals then destroyed).”
My eyes went ultra wide, and I almost screamed when I read the parenthetical statement about destroying the original photos. This is not only heartbreaking to hear as a semi-professional photographer but also unnerving as someone who’s been dabbling in digital photo technology for about the last 15 years. I really want to know what kind of files the photos were saved as. The odds are good that they’re JPEG, and that’s problematic since JPEG corruption is real. The pixelation that occurs over time on JPEG files cannot be reversed. PNG and RAW files are less prone to this, but it’s not as common to use these types (and most people lack the software to open RAW files anyway). Digital backups are great, but using that as a primary source is sketchy. Prints that are properly stored are the better option. They can also be worth something if the family photo collection includes snapshots of locations with historical prominence (locally or globally). This worth may not necessarily be money, but historical societies and collectors will take these kinds of prints off your hands. (Note to self: Catalog prints of various locations and leave instructions on where to send these photos after I die.)
“Clothing made today is meant to last no more than a few years. In fact, a lot of clothing isn’t even made to withstand more than a few washes.”
Where are these clothes coming from? I have several Gap items I bought between 2001 and 2006 that I still wear and are in good shape. There has been some wear in areas around the collars and sleeves of tops that I’ve been able to get mended. I’ve had to give up on a sweater back in 2017 due to a huge hole in the elbow. That sweater served me very well for 12 years even with my not too delicate laundry practices. I also have Gap dress pants that I’ve worn regularly since 2008 that are still holding up. One pair needs a new zipper and button, but the seams are still strong all around.
I know it will be time consuming to go through the stuff after my father dies (and I already kinda went through this a bit this past summer after my mother’s death). That said, I know I won’t be destroying any of the photos left behind. It would be a huge erasure of an immigrant’s story, and I cannot do that in good conscience. The clothes, though, will likely go to a textile recycler.
I have the collector’s dilemma.. I have boxes and shelves and too much “stuff”. My husband and I have already arranged to give many items to a local historical society and I hope to give others to friends and neighbors who will think of me when they use it. Many people do value old things and there are always charities who resell items at low prices to those who like to find treasures.
yes come visit Michigan and buy or sell everything you threw out.