Becoming a mom is an exciting but different experience for everyone. One that is filled with love, joy, and lots of tears along the way. Here is a little Q & A to show you a little about our experiences in becoming a mom.
What did you do to prepare for becoming a mom?
Casey: I organized. I shopped. I read “Baby Wise.” I decorated her room. I called numerous friends. I bought a camera. I taught my mom how to use “Face Time.” I researched. I studied. I sewed. I did lots of things- the only things you can do, really. I was so, SO, excited!
Lauren: I basically talked to as many mom friends as I could. I picked their brains about everything from strollers to breastfeeding. I decided not to read any newborn parenting books. I tend to get super convinced/brainwashed by things I read so I knew that would get in the way of my “mother’s intuition”. One time I read canned-goods could be linked to cancer…haven’t bought canned-goods since (well maybe a few), but you get the idea.
When do you think the new reality of being a mom sunk in? when you got home from the hospital? after a few weeks?
C: I remember really feeling like a mom the first time I took her to church. She was 3 or 4 weeks old and I was by myself. My mom had gone back home and Gabe was already there. So I did everything myself: got us both fed, dressed, packed everything in her diaper bag, and spent the whole time debating between taking her inside in her car seat or putting her in a sling. This was a big deal to me for some reason. I had taken her out to the mall, to Buy Buy Baby, to the doctor- but for some reason taking her to church was a real eye opener. I think I was full of pride- wanting to show her off to everyone- and full of worry- germs, crying in the service, feeding. That juxtaposition, I guess, really made me feel like I was a real mom.
L: For me, it was in the hospital. After Kyler was born late at night, they took him to the nursery for a few hours, and we caught up on a little sleep before they brought him back to us at 2 in the morning. I was so exhausted, but I remember waking up to the sound of a crying baby coming into the room and thinking “that is our baby, that is our crying baby”.
What was one thing that kept you sane as a new mom?
C: Dr. Pepper. not even diet!
L: The car seat. Kyler always fell asleep in the car seat.
What were some of the challenges you met that were unexpected?
C: My sweet little Halle was basically refusing to breast feed. She loved bottles and while that was fine in the beginning, I couldn’t foresee pumping just to bottle-feed her for 6 months! She screamed and cried-I prayed, screamed, cursed and cried. It was a long road, but finally after about 8 weeks she gave in. Her Boppy pillow has one of my mascara-stained tear drops on it. I won’t wash it because it’s such a reminder of those horrible times and how far we’ve come (plus we don’t use it much any more- so don’t think I’m gross!)
L: I was totally caught off guard with breast engorgement. I had never really heard anybody talk about it before, so I was quite surprised with this strange phenomenon. It was very painful, but eventually resolved itself after about 2 weeks.
Is motherhood anything like you thought it would be?
C: Nope, it’s way better.
L: Agreed!
What was your experience like becoming a new mom?
It was so much harder than I thought it would be at first. I struggled with milk production problems for a little over the first two weeks of my daughter’s life. She was losing weight, I was freaking out…all the while, I was struggling with some post-partum depression which made all the struggles feel like mountains. After switching to formula when our doctor advised me to (my daughter had lost too much weight and wasn’t gaining any at all), the fog lifted, she started gaining weight, and I felt like a new woman.
Life is crazy still, but in a good way. I love my little girl and as she grows, I am amazed and reminded of God’s love for us. Its so wonderful how He uses parenting to show us His love for US! 🙂
Erin-
Thanks for your honesty! Those first few weeks are so hard, I remember crying all the time- sometimes over nothing, just because I was so overwhelmed emotionally. Parenting is such a blessing and such a learning experience!
My experiences in the first few months were SO different with each of my girls! THAT, more than anything, has taught me that there are no rules, no universal right or wrong ways, and no unfixable mistakes. The only way to be the best mom you can possibly be is to LOVE your little munchkins, be honest with yourself through the process, ask for help, be open to changing your ways (when it’s best for baby), avoid trying to live up to any particular person or image of what you think the “perfect momma” looks like, and realize that taking care of YOURSELF is SO important because it allows you to be the best mommy possible!
Thanks for sharing you guys! I love this post!!!
I love that, Roxy. I remember calling a friend in tears over breast feeding issues- wondering if I should continue even though Halle screamed her head off and refused to nurse. My friend said before you decide to fight that battle, make sure you are doing it because YOU want to and NOT to please anyone else. It really made me think and contemplate. It was great advice.