Halle took her first plane ride the other day. Luckily, my husband was traveling with us and it was a fairly short flight. Leading up to this excursion, I kept worrying about all the “What ifs…” What if she has a melt down on the plane? What if I forget a bottle? What if she has a stinky blowout while the seat belt sign is turned on? My mind was racing with a million lists of what to bring, what to do and what to say.
What to say…that thought plagued me before we left on the trip and is now plaguing me afterwards. What would I say if someone gave me the evil eye while I walked on the plane with a baby? What would I say if Halle “accidentally” pulled someone’s hair in front of us? What would I say if she was screaming uncontrollably for the whole flight? I was seemingly prepared for these types of situations. I tried to have an answer in my pocket, ready to go at any of these crossroads. However, thank the Lord (literally, I am thanking Him for this) that I never needed any of those replies or comebacks. Halle was happy, flirty and playful the whole trip, even when we were diverted to another city for bad weather.
She was so happy, in fact, that she occassionally screamed out of excitement. That is the 
stage we are in right now- it is a stage right? So of course there wasn’t much we could do about that. She was playing happily, it just so happens that her happy is a loud happy. I still was rattled, though, wondering what others must be thinking or worrying that she was disturbing someone’s nap. So should I have been apologetic for for her happy shouts (that sounds better than screams or squeels!)?
That is what I laid in bed thinking about last night- that fine line of letting your child be who they are and express contentment and excitement in their own way and yet being considerate of others. The more I think about it, maybe it’s not that fine of a line. While I definitely want to be courteous to others I also don’t want to always feel the need to apologize for my child, whether she’s 8 months old and happily shouting or 15 years-old and has dyed her hair purple. We live in a culture that is a bit maddening in this regard because we highly value individuality and yet we seem to groom children to fit in. As a mom, I want to praise my daughter’s unique expressions of indivuality and yet show her the value of considering others. In the meantime, if you see my family on a 747 anytime soon, rest assured you will know how excited my daughter is for vacation.
We took Noah on a trip when he was 11 months old and I too was worried about the “what ifs.” He is very energetic and a happy little guy for the most part, but still I worried about the change in pressure bothering him and affecting his mood. Thankfully, and that praise goes to the Lord as well, he was happy. We did have an issue of a stink bomb diaper, but moments later they turned off the seatbelt sign. In hind sight, maybe it was for our benefit and the benefit of those sitting closest to us. Either way, that was the only mishap. But as far as apologizing for them…I think people need to be a little more understanding of the fact that you can’t really rationalize with an infant. You can’t explain to them they are being loud or the fact they are fussy might be bothering someone else. We were all that age once and sadly some adults still act like children, so why apologize for your child when they make not apology for their bad behavior? My thought is (specifically to air travel), if you don’t like that my child is upset and you can see I’m doing my best to sooth or calm him, if you think you can do a better job, I’ll let you try. Otherwise, sit there quietly, don’t pass judgment and know it will be over soon.
That is just precious! Cute little picture too!
I have never flown with my kids and feel quite certain that I would have all of the same thoughts you had. But, I remember when Langston was her age (he’s 2 now) and we would be in a store. He would talk, holler, and occasionally scream, but it was all in happiness. I kept trying to keep him quiet, out of respect for other people. My mom told me that it was silly for me to keep him quiet and that I should encourage his happiness. After she told me that, I started to look around at the other people in the stores and most people who were in earshot of him appreciated his happiness. I decided it was time to encourage it and now that he’s two, we have great conversations in the store. 🙂