Mom Confessions: My Vagina Fell Out

Let’s set the scene before I explain how my vagina “fell out”. My husband was out of town for three more nights and I ducked into the bathroom to go pee.  As I was taking care of business, my girls bombarded me-my oldest asking me to help her with her homework and my youngest (who is currently potty training) is trying to stick her hand between my legs to help wipe momma.  I beg them to just give me two minutes of privacy, as an introvert being on duty 24/7 solo is really hard for me.  Both girls leave without a fight and I hear them giggling in their bedroom.  Finally, a few minutes of peace.

I continued to sit on the toilet, mindlessly playing Candy Crush (yes, I’m still addicted) until I hear the telltale signs of boredom setting in for my girls-screaming and fighting.  I yell to them to cut it out and I’ll be in there in just a moment. 

Now here comes a WARNING : What you are about to read is probably TMI, but really, as a mom… is there TMI?

As I go to wipe myself I suddenly realize things ARE NOT NORMAL “down there.”  I wipe again and feel something coming out of my vagina.  Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve only had two things come out of my vagina-a tampon and a baby so to feel something coming out when I’m not on my period or pregnant was extremely alarming. 

I stood up shaking, still listening to my girls fight and have no idea what to do next.  So I do the only logical thing there was to do-turn the camera mode on in my phone and take a look.

I literally can see the inside of my vagina is coming out, as if it is one of those water slinky snakes.  A moment of panic starts to set in but because the fighting is escalating I don’t have time to deal with my broken vagina.  I separate the girls and calmly call my mother to tell her she is going to have to pick up the girls from school the next day because I needed to go to the doctor.  She asked me what was going on and I told her, “Well, I think my vagina just fell out.”

Of course she panics and tells me to go to the emergency room but its nearly 10 at night (yes, I fail when solo bedtime and can’t get my kids to bed at a decent time), wasn’t in pain so it didn’t feel emergent and didn’t want to deal with the girls and/or a hospital.  Besides I just started a brand new job — of course I did — and I didn’t want to be too tired the next morning or risk them admitting me and me missing work.  I know that isn’t logical but you know what…having your vagina fall out isn’t really a typical experience so you can’t blame me for not thinking totally straight. 

Over the next hour, I went into the bathroom no less than ten times to check out the situation and was relieved to see that it started to go back to normal-by the time I went to bed it was as if I had made up the entire situation in my head. When I woke the next morning, during my morning bathroom break I felt a “pop” and it was back so I knew I definitely wasn’t imagining things.

That afternoon, I went to my doctor and she explained to me that I’m suffering from a rectocele, or a posterior prolapse of the wall between my vagina and rectum.  She said it isn’t an emergency situation, and in fact women often just live with them.  She said that until it becomes truly bothersome (aka-it comes out all the way and stays that way) she wouldn’t recommend surgery yet for just this one concern. 

Sadly, we also discovered my bladder has started to prolapse as well (so that is why I still pee myself 2.5 years after giving birth) so I am going to have surgery to correct that — though recovery requires you to not lift more than ten pounds for six months so I am going to wait until my youngest is old enough to understand why mommy can’t pick her up.

I know this blog post is one bit TMI-fest but I feel that it is important to share because I want other momma’s to know this can happen, according to my doctor a large majority of women will experience some form of prolapse after childbirth. 

Of course, if your vagina starts to falls out, go see your doctor as soon as possible, but know it isn’t automatically the end for your vagina like I feared.  While I still have “symptoms,” a nicer way to say that I can feel the inside of my vagina on the outside every time I go to the bathroom, this issue honestly hasn’t impacted me too much. 

I suppose the biggest issue honestly is now I purposely try to get my bathroom business done as quickly as possible and I really miss my bathroom hiding out sessions.

I want to point out that my anonymous authorship of this blog isn’t due to embarrassment-I truly feel like this malady is just like any other-nothing to be ashamed or hide.  That said, as respect to my young daughters (and their friends) who might not enjoy reading about their mother’s vagina on the internet, I have chosen to not reveal my name.