To the Man that Asked Me Out to Dinner Yesterday

I went to the eye doctor and came out with a man. No, really. No, not really. I left him in the eyeglasses store looking at new glasses frames, and I snuck out hoping he wouldn’t see what car I got into. But for an ego boost, a girl can’t go at all wrong with a man in the eye doctor who tells her shes’ still got it.

First he complimented my hair and my smile and told me that contact lenses are a much better idea with eyes like mine – you know – diamonds sparkle in the sunshine and all that. And I was totally like, Keep talking, mister,… you had me at good hair.

Then he asked me out on a real live date. And I panicked and I think I waved my wedding ring around all nervously and told him Fireman Dave {my husband} doesn’t like it when I go out on dates without him.

Then I came home and made my kids cringe at the thought that their mother is an actual girl and not invisible like they like to imagine. And I told Fireman Dave that I am wanted by men in eye doctor offices everywhere.

But then when I got over myself, I heard my wonderful husband’s words in my head, repeating all those same sweet words to me all the time – except for the recommendation of contact lenses over glasses. That was a first for me.

But the truth is that I far too often ignore my own husband’s words as words of necessity and obligation, and act like they’re not genuine. I guess the dynamic of men and women is often too much like that of kids and parents. My kids always believe things more when they come from someone else than when they come from me. Dear Me…. lesson learned.

So… to the man that asked me out to dinner yesterday…

Thank you. Thank you for the lovely compliments you paid me as I sat in the eye doctor’s office waiting to get my eyes checked. Thank you for complimenting my hair, my smile, and giving me a little ego boost before I got my eyes dilated and needed help driving home.

It was a bold and courageous move you made right there in the middle of the waiting area with about 5 other people watching and listening. And it was the last thing I expected to happen as I sat there reading Better Homes and Gardens, trying to squeeze in some decorating tips while I originally tried to ignore you.

You were sweet. And you were kind when I told you that I’m happily married.

But I didn’t tell you that I’ve been married for 17 years and that marriage is a big ol’ mix of hard and soft. And that it’s tiring and full of unanswered questions about each other and about myself. And I didn’t tell you that my sweet husband pays me the most wonderful compliments as well, because he’s kinda great…. but that most of the time I don’t accept them. I hear his words, and I see his love and commitment to me and the boys every day…. but I don’t hear the compliments for what they’re worth –  because maybe I’m at a point of questioning what I’m worth.

To get right to it, I’ve had three babies. And those were a few miles back…. And no matter what you’ve heard, time does not heal all wounds. This body isn’t quite the same as it was back in the days before I bared my all together to countless doctors, nurses, and what seems like a million needy children. And my energy level ain’t what she used to be – that’s Texas speak for Lord, I may never be the same again.

And sometimes I think my husband says the great things he says to me because he has to. Because it’s part of being married. Or maybe I’ve just heard it so often that I wonder if it’s real.

So thank you for the ego boost. And thank you for reminding me to value the words my husband says to me for what they really are.

And yes, I’ve still got it. And so much more.