Deer season opens the first weekend of November, and you can bet my husband will be taking our elementary age sons to the family ranch to hunt sometime this fall. He would take our daughter, too, if she were interested. However, she prefers staying behind with Mom for pedicures and sushi.
When my boys load up in the truck with tents, coolers, and guns in tow I feel confident that their dad and I have already taken many steps to make sure they handle guns safely. I know we will continue to make gun safety a priority for our family as our kids grow older. Guns can be dangerous tools, especially when handled casually without proper training or attentive monitoring of their use by a responsible adult.
That’s why my husband and I have planned and put into practice ways to teach our kids about guns mentally and physically. I use the term mentally because the way a child thinks about guns and shooting is just as important as understanding how guns physically work and how to avoid accidents.
The way this looks in our home is a lack of video and computer shooting games in which the targets are people. Just last week the boys found a new computer game that involved shooting people, and as soon as I realized it I told them it was off limits. I asked them if they knew why they couldn’t play that game and of course they did. I’ve drilled it into them for years: life is precious and valuable and we don’t even pretend to kill for fun. They weren’t really trying to break the rules. The truth is, it’s hard to avoid those types of games because they are everywhere. They probably didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but when I reminded them why we avoid it they didn’t even whine or dwell on it for a moment because they know how firm we are about it. I also believe they understand and agree with me that pretending to kill people isn’t the best way to spend time.
Physically, we have all kinds of rules and teaching in place that I think impacts our sons (and daughter) in a positive way and will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
- We keep guns unloaded and locked up when not in use
- We teach and review with our kids over and over the safety requirements of holding a gun like always carrying it so that it points to the ground, treating every gun as if it’s loaded, never pointing at anything except what you are aiming to shoot, etc
- When a child is using a gun it is strictly a 1 on 1 time for an adult and a child so that they can be completely monitored the entire time
- We plan to enroll our kids in State-required hunter education classes for proper training and licensing
- We repeatedly tell our kids to never touch a gun they find anywhere- go get an adult!
- We are honest in an age appropriate way about telling our kids that guns can and do kill while making sure they understand the finality and seriousness involved with shooting/killing.
- Even though it is awkward, we have asked if a family owns guns/has them locked up before allowing our kids to play at a friend’s house
One thing that might surprise readers is I do allow my kids to point Nerf guns at each other (anywhere except the face) when they play. My husband and I decided that we would make a clear differentiation between Nerf guns with their foam bullets and real guns. I know some families feel that not even play guns should be pointed at people, and I can see the logic in that. However, at this age in my boys’ lives, I believe they can understand and respect the difference between their Nerf guns they use in the house and the real guns they take to the ranch.
Every family has to make decisions about guns. The decision might be a clear no guns allowed in this house policy, or it might be a carefully monitored education on gun use and safety. Regardless of our opinions and feelings about guns, we can’t ignore the discussion completely, because a child with total ignorance about guns and their capabilities is the most dangerous option of all. I encourage moms to talk to their kids about guns and either explain why they aren’t allowed, or why they must be used carefully. Teach your kids what to do if they ever happen to find a gun. Consider how shooting games might impact kids’ thinking about guns and what restrictions, if any, you want to put in place.
For even more food for thought regarding guns check out Jenny’s post on Our Son’s First Play Gun.
I’m wondering why nerf guns are okay but shooting games aren’t? I’m not judging or being disagreeable. I’m genuinely curious. Is it because shooting games intend to kill a target, and generally show blood? If so, when playing with nerf guns, are they permitted to shoot one another so long as they don’t pretend to be dead or injured?
Great question! I actually wondered if anyone would ask about that. For me, it’s because the object of shooting games is to kill (with varying degrees of gore, blood, and visual violence- but the end object is death, even though it’s virtual, it’s still death) and the object of nerf guns is just to hit each other, run around, hit each other some more, etc- More of a game without a focus on stopping the other person permanently.
And if I can also add- I think watching virtual violence/death on a screen repeatedly can cause a desensitization toward death/killing over time while nerf gun play lacks that, in my opinion.
One important edit: “Guns [are] dangerous tools”.
And one editorial comment: Your family’s plan sounds like a good one to help reduce the risk of an accident, but you can never completely eliminate the risk even if you don’t keep guns in your house.