I have two small boys, who are 3 and almost 2.ย Individually, they are wonderful, well behaved, sweet little boys.ย Together, they are a little more difficult.
I’m fortunate in the fact that they constantly love to play together, which makes the mommy guilt a little easier when I have to focus to much of my attention on my 8 week old baby girl.
However, I feel like I’m saying “No” all day long and honestly, I hate it.
I want to be nodding in agreement more often than I’m saying “no.”
I’ve learned that sometimes I say no because of my own desires or selfishness.
“No, you can’t play in the dirt.” {….because I don’t want to have to put you straight in to the bathtub.}
“No, we can’t paint right now.” {….because I don’t want to have to get everything out and then clean it all up.}
“No, we can’t go outside.” {….because I don’t want to go outside right now.}
“No, you can’t play with your blocks right now.” {….I just put them back in the bag and cleaned your room.}
The truth is, I love watching my boys and playing with them, but sometimes I get so caught up in myself that it’s just easier for me to say “no.”
The last thing I want is for my kids to stop asking me to do things because they know I’ll say “no” or even to stop taking my no’s seriously.
Of course, I’m not talking about things that are dangerous.ย That’s when I really want my kids to hear “no.”ย I want my kids to know when I say “no” it’s a big deal and my no’s need to be taken seriously.
Like when they take that first step out in to the street and a car is coming, I want them to stop dead in their tracks at the sound of my screaming “NOOOOOOOOOO!”
I want to be a “yes” mom.
It just feels good when I say “yes.”
I going to start taking time to see life through their eyes and less through my own.
Yes we can go outside and I’ll even play baseball with you!ย Go get your glove.
Yes you can make a fort in the living room and I’ll be taking pictures of you while you play in it.
Yes we can paint.ย Can you make mommy a beautiful picture to put on the refrigerator door?
It’s also makes for a great bargaining tool!
Yes we can go play at the park, but you have to eat all of your chicken before we can go. ๐
Being a “yes” mom will take more work, but this time in their life is so short, I want to make the most of it and truthfully, I want my kids to remember me as a “yes” mom and not a “no” mom.
What about you?ย Are you a “yes” mom?
I definitely can relate to this. I catch myself saying no a lot because of my own stuff. I recently heard someone encourage adults to stop and think about our responses to kids and whether or not those responses are enhancing our relationship with that child. While I know my saying no to painting when i still have 500 things to do isn’t going to destroy my relationship with my child, it probably isn’t enhancing it. So here’s to being a “yes” mom. thanks for the reminder
You’re so welcome! I’m all about enhancing my relationship with them, whenever I can!
It sounds like you need a YES Day!
http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Day-Amy-Krouse-Rosenthal/dp/0061152595/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349283137&sr=8-1&keywords=Yes+day
This looks great!! I will definitely have to check that book out! Thanks for sharing that with us. ๐
great post! so true that most of the time I say no, it’s really more of a selfish, mommy-doesn’t-want-to-deal-with-that-right-now no!
“mommy-doesn’t-want-to-deal-with-that-right-now” <—yes, this exactly! ๐
You couldnt have wrote it better. I feel the same exact as you!