There’s nothing like introducing a little change to your toddler’s life to make you rethink your parenting techniques. Encouraging your toddler to ditch the paci is likely to make you both cry yourselves to sleep. Transition from a nanny at home to daily daycare, and then make the decision to go ahead and move from crib to toddler bed. Poor guy? Poor mom.
That was the month we learned how to help our little guy through transitions and life change. He responded well to the preparation we tried to give him, and it helped us figure out how to parent him better. As we enter another new phase of life-change (changing schools and moving houses), I thought I’d share a few techniques we use to help our toddler make transitions.
Talk early and often. Start talking about the upcoming changes two or three weeks out from the event. Kiddos don’t have a great sense of time, so judge how soon you should start sharing the news with them. I wasn’t planning on sharing about the school change until closer to the summer, but when we passed by the new school and he asked about it–a month ago–I decided to go ahead and let him know he’d be going there in a few months. For other events, like spending the weekend with grandparents and who will pick him up from school, we let him know that week. We talk about who will pick him up, where he’s spending the night, his schedule for the weekend, and when we will see him again.
Encourage flexibility. I find that while my 3-year-old loves routine, when I’ve prepared him and helped get him ready, he becomes a lot more flexible. When he doesn’t know about the change, morning drop-off is a challenge and an early pick-up from grandma’s house sends him reeling. Sometimes, the schedule changes on the fly. We make sure we stop to let him know about the changes along the way. He’s coming along easier with these transitions. Now he just asks from the backseat, “Where are we going now?” Gone are the meltdowns since we’ve practiced this habit.
Explain why. Kids pay more attention than we realize. Give your toddler credit! They want to know what is going on, where we are going, and what is coming up. When you explain why the change is happening, they feel like they are a part of the discussion and may be more willing to go along. I feel like when we assume he’ll just be fine if we don’t tell him what’s up, that’s inevitably when he’ll have a tantrum in the middle of everything. How do I feel when things change on me in the middle of the day? I get frustrated at the least. I try to imagine how he feels–without a full understanding of the world around him.
As we approach a move to a new home later this summer, we’re already talking about sleeping at a new place, why we are packing, and that everything is coming with us. He’s growing excited about the new house and the coming changes!
