We moved up to Richardson about a year ago so my daughter is at a new school this year and is now taking gymnastics. This has lead to many fun, casual conversations with other moms who are in the same life stage as me. Not to mention, my daughter Stella talks about their kids all the time at home so I know all about Davis and Marley and Ava and Will. Many of these moms seem SO FUN. They dress cute, are always smiling and share in the circus of this THREENAGER life stage. You make eye contact with them at school drop off as they roll their eyes and say “Yep…. It’s been a morning.” And with those 4 words you know EXACTLY what kind of morning they have had because you had one on Monday.
So how do you get from school drop off to play dates?
This has been so awkward for me to figure out. It takes me back to high school insecurities…. Am I looking desperate? Do I ask for her number? Do I “Friend” her on Facebook? How often do I comment? I don’t want to come on too strong…. But she seems REALLY cute and nice and fun… and I want to be friends outside of the hallway at Mother’s Day Out!
Guys. I am really laying my pride down with this post but does anyone else feel me here? My kids up to this point have only really done play dates with MY best girlfriend’s kids. We meet up from all over the metroplex and force our children to be besties for the restie because we are the “lifer” friends. But what about the women who are literally down the street and who you see multiple times per week? The play dates that would be SUPER convenient and help pass the time until Daddy gets home from work…
I don’t know, ladies. It feels like dating and I hated dating. But this has been my strategy:
Hallway chatter leads to a birthday party invitation. (Which gets sent home in their backpack of course because you aren’t ready to ask for their mailing address) After the birthday party happens and you see them for more than 10 minutes outside of hallway drop off, I typically “friend” them on Facebook and message them asking for parenting advice or “When are school pictures again?” Once Facebook messaging starts to feel lame, I feel like it’s ready to take our relationship to the next level…. TEXTING. Once we get to the texting level, I feel like we are finally “friends.” We have each other’s number. Once I am at this point I feel like play dates are appropriate and not weird or stalker-ish. Then before that very first play date, I pray to the good Lord above that my child doesn’t completely unravel my long-term relationship plan by behaving so poorly that we have to break up and never get invited over again!
So there you have it! And to my NEW MOMMY FRIENDS FROM MOTHER’S DAY OUT AND GYMNASTICS – You now know what a TOTAL FREAK SHOW I AM!!! Can we still be friends? Pretty please?
It’s like you voiced every insecurity I’ve ever had about trying to make new mom friends, except my kiddo isn’t in school yet. I’m trying to meet mom’s through playdates and it is so hard! I go through all the questions in my head and the what ifs. I worry I come on too strong and desperate when I really would just like someone to bond with, and share war stories, and vent in a non judgement zone. Maybe one day I’ll find my mom BFF. Just maybe.
I feel you. My kids are older and not so much in the play date stage. I think we all feel this way. As women we tend to over think things though. I got a fb friend request from my son’s club teacher/leader after only speaking a couple of times. I think what sealed the deal for both us was when she made a ‘pivot’ remark to a kid and of course they didn’t get it, but I remarked that I knew it was from ‘Friends.’ Boom, bond was created!
Ha! I so needed to read this right now. I feel like I’ve been ‘coming on strong’ to all the ladies in a 5 mile radius with tiny tyrants attached to them, then over analyzing the creepiness of my play date ‘come-on’s.
soo, you come to this park often?? Nice tricycle you got there. 😉
You’re not alone mama!
So I am out of the “playdate” stage but it still applies when you are the new girl in the hood!! I am moving from Jacksonville, FL to I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE in Dallas, TX. Freaking out as my boys are 16 and 14 and my daughter is 11. One in high school, one going into high school and one going into middle school..flippin out about this move even though it will be a great adventure and an awesome opportunity for my husband. I am begging for some “girlfriend input” on where to live in Frisco. My husband will be working in Addison and his boss has said Frisco is the place for us. Can anyone offer advice for this 40 somethin’ girl trying to find a place to live all the way from FLA??!!! Feel like I ought to offer y’all my resume’ such as college, jobs, etc. Happy to provide LOL! if anyone needs it before recommending a neighborhood! 🙂 Thanks so much for ANY HELP!!!!!
If you’re working in Addison, don’t bother moving to Frisco!! Look in the area of Coit & Campbell in Richardson/North Dallas. Less than 10 minute commute. Amazing schools in RISD, and you’re within 20 minutes of the city excitement. 🙂
Thanks so much for your reply! Coming out there June 1-4 to start “the process”. Will definitely keep that in mind. Soooooo nervous but excited. Grateful for anything else you might think important 🙂
Loved this post! Finally, I don’t feel like the only mom w/this dilemma!