Stage One :: The Decision
Timeline :: Pregnancy to week one
Highlight :: Bumbling and somewhat awkward, that first post-birth nursing session is as heart-racing and exhilarating as a first kiss.
Low point :: You wait patiently for your milk to come in, and hormonally sob that it never will.
>> RECOMMENDED RESOURCE :: Breastfeeding Resources in and Around Dallas <<
While pregnant, you gleefully express to all that will listen that you will be a breastfeeding mama. You attend the class at your hospital, practice with a doll, and joke that you will totally use the football position while watching football.
You spend all your time plotting which stroller, car seat, crib, swing, and bathtub you MUST HAVE, without thinking twice about breastfeeding because how hard can it be? Then . . . your baby goes to the NICU at just two hours old.
When the postpartum nurse wheels a breast pump into your room at 5:00 a.m. after 26 hours of labor and no sleep, you panic. A lactation consultant swoops in to save the day, and you put all your energy into pumping because it distracts you from the fact that your baby is not in the same hospital room as you.
You make it clear in your birth plan (somewhere at home in a pile of papers) that no bottles or pacifiers should be given to baby, thank you very much, because BREASTFEEDING. But when baby is promptly given both in the NICU, you are too tired to change out of your hands-free pumping bra and mesh underwear to worry or protest.
Stage Two :: The Damp, Dark Days
Timeline :: Week one to two months
Highlight :: A milk-drunk baby asleep in your arms with milk dribbling down her chin is EVERYTHING.
Low point :: You order a baby scale from Amazon at 3:00 a.m. due to an uncontrollable obsession with baby “not gaining weight quickly enough.”
>> RELATED READ :: Breastfeeding Myths Debunked <<
You are home with your baby and learn that the “feeding schedule” is basically the same as a Vegas casino buffet. Between the postpartum night sweats and leaking milk, you are soggy 24/7. And the pain, oh the pain. Showers, cabbage leaves, nipple cream, ice packs. Your two-hour sleep increments must be taken on your back.
You stress about nursing in public or when friends come visit because it still takes you several minutes of full-boob exposure to get the baby in the right position. Desperate texts go out daily to your tribe of breastfeeding mamas begging for assurance that something is “normal.”
You keep your phone with you at all times for fear of getting trapped during cluster feedings with no entertainment. You use the same phone to obsessively enter all nursing sessions into an app for reasons that you don’t fully understand, because the only pattern seems to be “all the time.”
Stage Three :: The Immersion
Timeline :: Two to eight months
Highlight :: During parties or events, your inner introvert appreciates the excuse to take a breather alone in a quiet room.
Low point :: You get a terrible head cold, but your medication options are basically “tough it out.”
>> RELATED READ :: 5 Ways to Make Breastfeeding a Little Easier <<
You and baby have created a schedule, a routine, and your own form of communication. You nurse in public like a pro, and no longer care about a cover. You nurse while brushing your teeth and walking around the house. You delete the breastfeeding tracker app from your phone because it only takes a quick boob grab to know which one’s on deck for the next feeding.
You dream and plan all day for a night out with friends or your significant other, and it actually happens! But then rush home after four hours to pump or nurse the baby because you just grew a (painful) cup size.
You try 450 different bottles and nipples, but your baby rejects anything not attached to your chest, which is devastating and kind of sweet at the same time. You rub breast milk on any and every ailment, and it works every time. You start to plan a ceremonial burning of all nursing bras and tank tops.
Stage Four :: The Honeymoon & Farewell
Timeline :: Eight months to . . .
Highlight :: You can barely get through one book with your wiggly taby (baby toddler), but nursing provides five calm minutes of the sweetest snuggles of the day.
Low point :: Saying goodbye to the most tender, beautiful moments with your baby you could never have imagined.
>> RELATED READ :: That Time My Daughter Quit Breastfeeding (and I Tried to Stop Her) <<
The pressure is off and breastfeeding is finally EASY. You can go out for an afternoon or evening and skip a feeding, and neither you nor your baby even notice. You get reacquainted with bras that do not click and the section of your closet that does not offer easy access.
You start to wonder if you will still be breastfeeding at Kindergarten round up. Teeth enter the picture, and the look on your baby’s face when you let out a yelp is a MILLION times worse than the actual bite.
Night weaning happens, and you finally start to feel sane again. When baby gets her first cold, four teeth at once, or takes a bad tumble learning to walk, you have a secret weapon in your arsenal that takes away the tears instantly. Baby starts eating more than you at dinner and all the sudden you see a light at the end of the tunnel.
The sense of overwhelming pride you feel from nourishing your baby with only your body for months catapults you to a new level of confidence. You accept that badge of honor as you say goodbye to the toughest, most humbling journey you’ve been on since becoming a mom.
