We all read to our kids, it is definitely one of the most relaxing family activities. There are so many wonderful, happy and funny children’s books. However, what happens when life brings some not so happy or funny moments? I still think turning to children’s books can be the answer. Below are books that help lead sometimes difficult conversations that face many families. Stories found in books will never be a one size fits all, and all situations are different; however many can be a starting point talking with your child.
Learning to be Kind
I use the word “kind” at least a billion times a day. “Be kind at school,” “Be kind to your sister.” All good things to say to your kids, howev
er what if they don’t really know what this buzzword REALLY means. It’s so easy to forget that sometimes the most basic words need further explanation. What Does It Mean To Be Kind, By Rana DiOrio is a straight-forward book with examples of being kind that I read to my son (age 3.5) and daughter (age 2). It reminds kids to say please and thank you, to be patient, stick up for others and my personal favorite, “… allowing yourself to make and learn from your mistakes.” The overall message is to treat others how you want to be treated all while providing concrete examples. If your kids are older, I recommend the book, Simon’s Hook by Karen Gedig Burnett. This is a well-known book used in elementary schools to lead conversations with students about teasing and put downs. The message is about not taking the “bait” and being a “free fish.” Basically don’t listen to those put downs, and boost your resiliency!
Building Confidence
I Think I Am, by Kristina Tracy is a fantastic book for young kids that teach kids the importance of positive affirmations. At first I thought this book might be cheesy or a little too advanced, but my son is just starting to understand the concept. The book walks through many common negative thoughts from “nobody likes me,” “if I don’t do what they want, they will be mad at me,” and “they don’t want to talk to me.” After all the negative thoughts there is a simple positive affirmation that you can tell yourself. The book is simple enough for kids to understand but profound in pinpointing the most common insecurities school age kids feel. If your kids are very young, I love the book, Love Monster, by Rachel Bright. All about a little monster that doesn’t fit into the perfect cuddly world he is living. The message of this book is clear, when you least expect it, love will find you and there will always be someone with whom you relate.
Divorce
Ugh. Divorce. One most awful, uncomfortable topics that exist. This is not an easy task, and no book is going to magically make this topic easier, however books can open the gates to conversation with your child. The book Monday, Wednesday, and every other Weekend by Karen Stanton tells the story of a little boy and his dog adjusting to life in two homes. The book addresses changes in adjusting to life in new homes, new bedrooms, and new schedules. However the difficulties are addressed mostly from the perspective of the dog. The dog is having a very difficult time transitioning to his new life. Using a dog as a catalyst for addressing the seriousness of transition and change is brilliant. It can be easier to talk about how the dog is feeling and slyly change it to how your child is feeling. If your child is older, you may want to read Dinosaurs Divorce by Laurene Krasny and Marc Brown. It is a more complex, longer children’s book about the difficulties of divorce and destructive behavior that may occur. The book addresses why parents divorce, having two homes, telling your friends and celebrating holidays. This is a helpful guide for older elementary age students, but I would recommend pre-reading the book before sharing with kids.
Death of an Animal
I saved the best for last, and by best I mean worst. Death is a topic that most of us parents fear and steer clear of. It is a natural instinct to go to the pet store and quickly replace the dead goldfish so our kids will never have a clue about the reality of the situation. However, we all know death is a part of life and will need to be tackled eventually. The book Riley on the Other Side by Erin Banke tells the story of the loss of a pet. Although the book is about losing a pet, a conversation can be manipulated into one about losing anyone. The book addresses how much we love our pets; grow up with them, the process of getting older and the need to cross over to the other side. This might be my favorite book of the list, because it is written for an elementary age kid, but does not hide any emotion and does a fabulous job of addressing feelings in an age appropriate manor. Two thumbs up!
Again, no book can address difficult emotions and situations perfectly, but these books do a fantastic job opening conversations with our hardest critics and biggest fans—our children! A side note: Most of the books mentioned can be found at any Dallas library, some however I purchased online.
