Brace yourselves…a wave of red roses with a side of decadent chocolate is coming! Don’t worry, after 24 hours of mushy mayhem, it will all be over and our lives will commence as normal.

Don’t you hate the build up to what is supposed to be the “most romantic” day of the year and then the sudden halt to all romance immediately following? I do! It is a sudden rush of really moving, beautiful sentiment and then…back to regularly scheduled life. Before I go any further, I should clarify; I am not a cynical, single, crazy cat lady writing this, but I am a woman who knows that romance comes in all forms and should definitely last more than 24 hours! I absolutely believe couples should do special things and show their adoration of their partner, after all, love is a verb right? I too adore the occasional bouquet of flowers and specially selected chocolates, but I would so much prefer those on a random day “just because” versus a day where all men or women are expected to do something a bit cliché.  I’m sure that has been said before, but it is true.

I am in love with my guy and sure, I sometimes  think that maybe he needs to be a little more in-tune with his fairy tale, romantic side like most women do about their man. But, then again, because he isn’t an uber-suffocating romantic, it means a thousand times more to me when I receive a sweet text, flowers or a “just because” gift from him. When it comes to an overly-Hallmarked holiday where men or women really feel pressured to be someone they aren’t all the time, I have my own expectations. I expect him to be who he is and treat me the way he feels is romantic. I expect him to learn my “love language”, know me as the woman he has chosen to be with and choose his affection and actions accordingly!

I certainly don’t want generic love. Neither one of us are crazy romantic with the grand gestures, but we show our love and appreciation in our own ways. I don’t want a small window of fake romance in place of what we have because it would feel very unnatural for us. With that being said, I am always game for being pushed out of our comfort zones, but in different ways like one day jumping out of an airplane together, climbing a mountain, or (currently) trying to keep up with him at the gym! I would love to experience new places to eat or adventurous activities, but forcing our romance from laid back, homey and enjoyable to stuffy and predictable is an absolute no from me! I’m sure this is an unpopular opinion and many don’t see it this way and that is completely fine! My perspective on this topic is strictly based on experience over the years.

I keep saying “unromantic” but I mean that as opposed to what the world views as romantic on Valentine’s Day! There are so many other fun ways to spend the day together. My fondest memories of Valentine’s Day are back in Elementary School when we would make our own mailboxes and buy the cheesy cards to give out to our fellow classmates. We would have parties and everyone got silly cards. I always thought one day it would be a fun thing to do with him and the kiddos! I can guarantee he would laugh at me for even thinking this and sure he would absolutely make fun of me. In no way is this idea “Hollywood Romance”, but can you imagine how cute that would be? Or how about a fun picnic somewhere just the two of us? We like being outdoors on a nice day. My concern is not the material gift I would get, but it is always having a memory to take with me and I can’t get that from a bundle of dead roses. As corny as this sounds, I want the everlasting feeling of how he makes me feel in a moment. He could spend $4 on a date and I would not care because it all boils down to the memory I get to take home with me! I’m 100% ok with a lowkey, out of the box, off the grid, totally weird, Valentine’s Day and I think you may enjoy yourself a lot more if you were too!!

Here are a few super-adorable ways to spend your Valentine’s Day unromantically:

1:  Homestyle Valentine’s Day Mailbox and Card – Like I said above, I don’t think you can go wrong with this. It is from the heart and there is a childish innocence to it! Throwback Valentines Cards are THE best. Do not spend $6.99 on a Walmart Card and let that be it. Seriously sit down with a box of crayons and draw your S.O. a handmade card. Watch their face either light up in love or humor. Either way you are not going to lose!!

2: 52 Reasons Why:  OK, I have seen this done, but I’ve never done it myself and I kind of want to. You buy a deck of playing cards and literally put 52 Reasons why you love your person on them. You can get really crafty and creative with this and use a Circuit machine or even just use Sharpies. A friend of mine did this and it was super personal and sure others have done it, but it won’t be the same! It is personalized by you!! I love this idea. You can go many different directions with this and make it funny or romantic. (There is a fantastic tutorial here)

3:  Include the Kids:   Parents, you will forever and always NEED multiple designated date nights to survive parenthood! Don’t lose your identity as a super-hot couple just because you are parents. NOW, that doesn’t mean it has to be on Valentine’s day! If the holiday isn’t that important to you, I suggest finding a way to include the kiddos. You can always have a little shindig at your house or even go out to dinner as a family. I love the idea of keeping the kids involved on this holiday because it is all about love. I wholeheartedly believe children should see their parents’ love and respect each other. It can only set them up for success!

4. Do Nothing: Simply just be with each other. Maybe you do want it to only be the two of you so you get a babysitter and stay home. Put on cozy pjs, grab some wine or make cocktails, pop some popcorn, pick out a great selection of movies and do not move from the bed or couch! That to me sounds so much better than having to wear heels for 3 hours that will leave a blister on my feet for 3 days! This is one of my ideal date nights and I don’t see a way that it could go wrong! Totally romantic in a non-glam way!

Now I know these few suggestions may seem just a little too easy and relaxed, but that’s the idea. Don’t twist my words and think I am saying date nights are not necessary and Valentine’s Day is a waste! What I mean is, relationships mixed with parenthood and work life as well as the million other factors that get thrown at us are complicated and full of pressure as it is. You deserve to relax! Valentine’s Day is a great life alarm for us to realize “oh man I need to let my spouse know that I love them” because let’s be honest, it can get away from us  sometimes! All I’m saying is, don’t immediately fall into the trap of teddy bears, chocolate and flowers. Don’t get disappointed if everyone at work is getting showered with the same gifts and attention they get every year. Take a minute and remind yourself, it is a holiday that has turned into a day of pressure and generic expectation. Make your own romance on your own terms! You know your relationship better than the candy and card companies do. You totally could whip up a dinner that you both like for a better price than a restaurant who won’t let you wear sweats!! Hey, it isn’t for everyone, all I am saying is give the “unromantic” Valentine’s Day a try! You just may be surprised!

Personally, I’ve realized that our relationship is a very unique one and for the sake of making all our readers my own personal therapist, I’ll just say Hallmark should be buying our story! Expecting a Valentine’s celebration or any celebration really, to fall in the “predictable” category is unrealistic and quite boring! Add being a parent into the mix (which I know the majority of our readers are!) and the word predictable loses all meaning anyway. I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe just maybe,  it is time we stop passive-aggressively making our partners sweat it out during February and give them a break!!

LET.IT. GO! Lets take the pressure off ourselves and our amazing significant others, become OK with a very unromantic Valentine’s Day!!