I hate to call my sweet little bundles of joy — diabolical, but I’m gonna be honest, I’m starting to wonder. There are just certain things that keep happening, over and over, despite my best efforts to put a stop to them.
So let me ask you, dear reader – normal toddler behavior or trying to drive me insane? You be the judge!
- Have to poop the second we get our meal at a restaurant. 12. That’s the number of times my husband and I can remember that happening in the last month. (We may eat out too much, but I digress.) Know what doesn’t sound good after spending 8 minutes watching a toddler poop in a tiny bathroom stall? My $$$ plate of food. Potty train them, they said. It’ll be better, they said.
- Have to pee as soon as we drive 3 minutes away from our house. I beg. I plead. I bribe! And still they refuse to pee before we leave. Yet, they somehow always have to pee once we are in the car and have gotten on the highway. Or to soccer practice.
- Ask me for water as soon as I sit down to eat my meal. Whether I’ve forgotten it or if they’ve already drank it all, it never fails that as soon as my bottom hits the chair – I’m back up again to get them something else they need for dinner. Some stereotypes never fail.
- Scream like someone is kidnapping her because she can’t get her shoe back on. Do your kids do that blood-curling scream? At the highest pitch possible? As loud as they can? Because they took their own shoe off and now want it back on? Mine do. Because — hello 2 year old, oh how I missed you!
- Cry because I ate my last bite of food or drank my water. It’s universally known that 2 year olds never eat. Unless it’s food on your plate and you are starving. Then when you eat your own food or finish your own La Croix – meltdown city! Oh hello again blood-curling scream, nice to
seehear you. - Throw a fit because they have to shower/go to bed/brush their teeth again. Oh the HUMANITY! “I just went to bed yesterday, you monster! Why would you make me do it again today?!”
- Be so adorable that I can’t even be mad at them. I’m totally guilty of laughing when my 2 year old screams about her shoes. And when my 5 year old says “I’m SO sorry Momma” when pooping while my over-priced tacos get cold, how am I supposed to stay mad at his sweet little face?
I’m in love guys. They’ve got me wrapped around their little fingers.
Guess I’ll just have to be crazy!!
