**January is National Birth Defects Prevention Month. Each Friday this month, in honor of those babies, we wanted to use this time to share a few stories from local moms who’ve dealt with these trials and tribulations and provide some great resources and information from local Dallas doctors. Although not all birth defects can be prevented, we hope that through raising awareness, steps can be taken to help prevent them.**
Our son was born with a vascular port wine birthmark covering the right side of his face. To us he was perfect in every way. We fell in love with him and his special mark the moment we saw him. What we didn’t know was how to respond to the questions and stares we got from other people.
Asking questions and looking is normal human behavior. Explaining our son’s birthmark and what causes it gives us the opportunity to teach both children and adults. We see parents all the time whispering, “Don’t stare,” or “Stop, it’s rude to stare,” and whisk away the inquisitive child. Those parents are the ones that are uncomfortable with the situation, but a brief 30 second chat can help everyone to adjust their perception of something they consider a negative. That first step is hard for both sides.
Once someone takes the initiative to ask, people find out that somebody with a physical disability, or who looks different, is really like themselves.
Here are our top five tips for helping parents – and their children – ask questions about another person with a vascular birthmark or physical difference:
1. Don’t stare continuously. Either ask the parent about it or move along.
2. Never ask “What is wrong with him or wrong with his face?” Nothing is wrong with the child. Their physical difference makes them unique and special; not abnormal.
3. You may say “May I ask about what is on his face or do you mind talking about his face?”
4. This is a great teachable moment opportunity between you and your child. Explain that everyone has something different about them that makes them special and unique. Some children have red hair, some have glasses, freckles, etc.. Ask the child what is unique about them?
5. It’s what is on the inside that important – not the outside!–another great teaching moment and lesson for parent and child!
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Martha Griffin is the proud parents of two beautiful sons. Their oldest child, Barron, was born with a port wine vascular birthmark. After researching vascular birthmarks and connecting with other birthmark parents, she and her husband Grant saw a need for a children’s book to help children understand that it’s okay to be different. Sam’s Birthmark is a great teaching tool to show children that each one of us has something that makes us unique and special. For more information visit the website: http://www.samsbirthmark.com/
Thank you for this post 🙂 it was great!