While I was pregnant with our second child my husband got a new dream job. He’s in the IT field and he found *the* company who appreciates his expertise and utilizes his talents – truly a love/love relationship.
The only drawback (more for me then him maybe) is the travel. We knew there would be travel involved, but maybe just not how much. It slowly turned into every other week, at least. Sometimes more.
And back when I had a newborn, that travel unbelievably hard. Without family in TX I felt alone and overwhelmed being by myself with a toddler and an infant. I started having crazy thoughts about what would happen if I fell down the stairs and got seriously hurt or what would happen if we got in a car accident without Tony in town. The mind does some crazy things when sleep deprived and without adult interaction.
Thankfully I was able to have my parents visit often. And we took several trips to visit family that we scheduled around especially long work trips. And as the baby slowly grows into this wild toddler stage (tear), we’ve started to find our routine. I am more confident and comfortable with two, the kids are finally on a good schedule, and I am getting longer stretches of sleep.
Recently, during a work trip I noticed that things just are not as hard as they used to be. In fact, the last time I kissed my hubby goodbye for 7 straight days I realized that I was even looking forward to a few things. (Don’t get me wrong, if given the choice I’d never let him leave. But it never hurts to find the positive in the hand you’re dealt.)
1. I don’t have to make dinner for 4! As a SAHM the dinner pressure is real… and it’s one of my least favorites. I’ve never been great in the kitchen. Meal planning is my kryptonite, I am seriously terrible at it. But with the hubby gone I can serve PB&J’s 3 nights in a row and suddenly — I’m a HERO! 3 slices of ham, a stick of cheese and some crackers – BAM dinner of champions! Not that my husband doesn’t help make dinner or expects me to serve him ever. It’s 100% a made-up pressure I’ve put on myself. But with him gone for a week, I sigh a big sigh of dinner planning relief.
2. I get the TV aaaalllll to myself. “Ha ha ha” you say, “ya right.” Well good point… but, after the kids are in bed I do! And I get to watch all the Friends reruns and Mindy Projects I can watch. Not that I don’t love watching jiu jitsu tournaments and college wrestling. But I do not love watching jiu jitsu tournaments and college wrestling. And now, I do not have to justify why I’m watching Ross and Rachel breakup for the 100th time. It’s a guilty pleasure, okay. Don’t judge me.
3. My kids get 100% of my attention. Balancing being a wife and a mother is a juggling act. I know I’m supposed to put my husband first but let’s be honest – someone always has to come last. Either the kids, my husband or me. So I take advantage of my husband being gone and spend extra time on bath and books. I’m not distracted or rushing them to bed so I can spend time with my husband. And, in turn, when my husband comes back into town, I do rush bath or skip books to get the kids to bed so Tony and I can binge watch a Netflix show together. And I do it with a little less guilt, knowing next week I’ll have plenty of time to catch up on all those Thomas books.
4. My family visits more often! Because my parents feel so bad for me being all by myself here with the kids, they visit and stay for weeks when they do. I have my sister coming up next weekend to help with some projects I’m trying to get done around the house. Thank goodness for family.
5. (This perk is the big one for me) When my husband is home, he gets to work from home! I think this one seals the deal really. It’s super hard to manage 2 kids when he’s gone. But it’s so convenient to have him home all day when he’s here. When he takes a coffee break, he comes out and plays for a few minutes. He can watch the kids when the baby is napping so I can run to the store — gloriously kid free! Lunches at home with all of us are the absolute best! And having him home the second he clocks out of work is awesome. This one almost makes up for all the travel. Almost.
I know once he reads this post he is going to sigh a big old huge sigh of relief. He hates leaving us for work, but he also loves what he does (and he has to work). Knowing that I’m finding my groove and that things are getting easier will only make his life easier. So I will continue to look for the positives.
Does your husband travel for work? Do you hate it? Or not mind so much? I would love to hear about it, here or on our Facebook page!
I can totally relate to this!
Thanks Becky!! 🙂
amanda, I can relate to this! After my 3rd daughter was born my husband was traveling Monday through Thursday every week for almost a year. We do not have family here either. It took time to get into a routine but I found many of the same truths as you described. I
also live in Frisco Texas. If you’re looking to get out and meet other moms I invite you to check out our MOMSnext program at FBC Frisco church. http://www.fbcfriscomops.org/MOMSnext
Thanks Adrian! I will check it out! 🙂
i completely agree with your post. My husband travels for two weeks at a time and I have two young children. I miss him terribly when he is gone and we have no family near home. But….I do love watching and crying over Greys Anatomy without any comments from the peanut gallery. And we have breakfast for dinner a lot more, sometimes 2-3 times a week. I love that they love the “special” treat of boxed macaroni and cheese too!
Oh, Greys Anatomy! I need to start re-watching those while he’s gone. LOVE that show!! 🙂
Thank you for offering fresh perspective on something I routinely throw a “pity party for 1” about. It’s so true that having hubby away does have positives, and my husband also works from home when he is not traveling, which I try not to take for granted but often do. I appreciate your fresh, positive take on hubby traveling when you could totally play the “poor wife” card and completely get away with it. Thanks for snapping me out of it!
I have been meaning to reply to your comment and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for a week, but things have been busy! Just so you know, I throw myself a pity party QUITE often. 🙂 I’m having one now with a glass of wine as my husband just got home late last night and leaves again tomorrow!
In no way does this post negate that. I just started to write “that” post and sounded so whiny that I needed a new perspective myself. So, thanks for appreciating that.
Surely we can do both, whine into our wine and see the positives? (Love your blog, btw… I’m about to head back and read as much as I can before I finish this glass! :))
Thanks for reading!!
i can completely relate. My husband travels, and works from home also. His travel has slowed down a little with a recent promotion, but he is still scheduled to be traveling 40% of his time. We just had a baby (my first, he has a 7year old daughter) and my whole family is 1200 miles away. I also work full time, but am lucky enough to work for a company that allows me to bring the baby with me, they even bought me a swing and other things for my office! But that also makes it hard for me, to balance taking care of an infant and trying to keep up with my work. When my husband is home he comes to work with me too most days and we trade off baby duty & work time. I do like the relaxed freedoms when he’s gone, not feeling bad for watching 3 hours of a chick-show, or going to bed at 8:30 when the baby does 🙂 but I also miss him and the additional hands & adult company.
I relate to some extent. My husband has been on the road almost weekly since my now 5 year old was born. I also have an almost 7 year old. I work full time out of the home and do a decent amount of school volunteering. It was very hard when they were young, it got easier, and now it’s hard again. Both children are involved in lots of sports and scouts. Evenings are difficult to juggle kids activities, myself coming home from work,home chores, never ending homework, and dinner. I joke that I rest at the office. On the plus side we are taking a family trip to Hawaii this summer due to all the mileage and hotel points.
I can relate to each and every one of these! I’ll add one more–we have a small, two car garage. When the hubby is gone, I can park right in the middle and get the kids in and out easier. BUT, I’d trade that convenience to have him home!
This makes me feel a bit better and a bit worse as it describes almost exactly what I am facing soon. One main difference is that I only have one child and, if this job is what he takes, will not have another as a result. The other being that I have no support network and no family even close to nearby.
My big worry is that he is a VERY involved father. I am concerned about what his being away so much is going to do. She absolutely adores him.